New Beginnings
by crgould66
Summary: The spikes may be gone, they had disintegrated along with the Esphani, but the disfigured scars on his back were a constant reminder of that brutal war. Ben knew they would always be there. Always a part of him. Despite life continuing, the war had changed them all. He struggled to find his place. Where he belonged. Who he now was. As they all did.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Despite the plots holes you could drive a truck through with this TV series, I have to admit that I did enjoy the characters. Especially Ben. His story was interesting because of what he'd been through and how it had changed him. I started writing this little story because I wanted to explore how Ben would have adjusted after the war was over. I thought I would share.**

 **Enjoy!**

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 _ **CHAPTER ONE.**_

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The spikes might be gone, they had disintegrated along with the Esphani, but the disfigured scars on his back were a constant reminder of that brutal war. Ben knew they would always be there. Always a part of him. The war had changed them all, but for some it had completely changed them.

Looking into the faces of the children, who like him had been harnessed, eyes filled with a remorse that no one else understood. Those faces, barely human anymore, a look of terror in their eyes and the sobering thought he lived with day in and day out – it could have been him.

He was one of the lucky ones. Guess that is why he was one of the few to truly understand them. After the war had ended, the half breeds or half humans as they were often labelled were brought in. The children varied in ages from 6 to 18. As did the genetic mutation of their bodies, depending upon how long they had been harnessed.

The younger children were scared and cried a lot. The older ones were filled with hate and anger at what had been done to them.

There was so much pain. He might not have the spikes, but he still acutely felt their plight. It was this that led him to find his true role in this new world.

He could reach them. He could help them adjust. As for the angrier, older children, he was the only one they trusted.

For the last 12 months he had become their mentor, their teacher, often their brother, sometimes even a father figure to the smaller children.

Ben didn't see them as being hideous. He had already worked, dwelt with and lived among the Skiddish rebels. He'd felt their pain too, through the connection of the spikes. His mind and their mind co-existing together, finding mutual ground. If he had to be entirely honest, he would have to say that he'd never felt so close, and strangely comforted in the union of their two souls. A shared empathy that he had never experienced with a fellow human, except briefly with Maggie.

Back then he'd had some romantic foolish notion of what love might be. After all what girl would ever want him like this? A freak of nature. But Maggie was different. She didn't treat him like a freak, or even a boy. She treated him as her equal, as a young man.

He had fallen completely and helplessly in love with her. He'd even risked giving her some of his spikes to save her.

But she hadn't wanted the spikes, just like she hadn't want him. She loved Hal, and she always would.

Ben had had enough time to come to terms with it. He'd even managed to suck up his emotional pain and be the best man at Hal and Maggie's wedding.

He remembered that night, the night Hal had asked him to be best man. Forcing a smile to his face, he hugged his brother and said yes.

He remembered the concerned expression of his father's face, later that night when they were alone.

' _Are you sure about this, Ben?'_

 _He'd nodded. 'Yep, I'm over Maggie. I don't love her. It was just a school boy infatuation.'_

 _Liar, liar, pants of fire. He only just wished he didn't love her. Maybe 12 months wasn't long enough._

That had been six months ago, and his feelings for her still hadn't abated despite him wishing they would. Of course he saw her often, at family gatherings, glowing with pregnancy. Five months along she was now and often his eyes would drift to the slight swell of her belly. It was a very clear reminder that she was carrying Hal's child and would never ever belong to him.

Yep, there was no wishing otherwise. And he really had come to terms with it. But his feelings just couldn't be turned off like a tap. Though he wished they could be. If only it were that simple.

He really wasn't a school boy either. He was 20, once that would have been considered young, but even managing to reach 20 years of age after the war was considered a feat in itself.

There were slim pickings when it came to people his own age too, and the ones that were he didn't like. In his experience most young guys were complete jerks. He'd been taunted and tortured by enough of them.

He didn't have the patience for them. Neither did he remotely care to associate with them either. As for the girls, he hadn't found one he liked. They seemed to simper and giggle too much for his liking. Not to mention they had the maturity of a gnat. So ignorant and … stupid.

' _What all of them?' Anne would smile in amusement, when she would ask him if he'd found a girl he liked yet, and he'd reply with his usual rant._

' _C'mon Ben, have you even bothered to get to know any of them?'_

 _She had him there. But he could hardly tell her that it was hard to be interested in girls when his feelings for Maggie were still so acute._

' _Trust me, Anne, girls are not much interested when you're labelled the Monster Teacher.'_

 _That was always his fall back argument, and pretty much the truth too. Girls his own age often looked at him as if he was some kind of freak. They gave him a wide birth. He gave them a wide birth too._

 _Anne would smile fondly at him. 'There will be a special person for you one day. And she will have to be exceptionally special to be with such an amazing young man.'_

He loved Anne almost as much as he had loved his own mother. She had been with him through the worst of it. Often the one to bring him out of his dark despair when the migraines were at the worst, when he couldn't see a foot in front of him. When his fears sometimes overwhelmed him, she would be there. Always the voice of comfort and reason.

And those early days, directly after the war, had been hell.

Without the spikes he was nearly as physically inept as he'd once been. And much to his chagrin, suffering really bad eyesight, which he'd never had before, along with the crippling migraines.

Connecting with the Esphani Hub, and putting his body through that torture had come with a price. The cornea in both his eyes had been damaged, resulting in Keratoconus. A progressive disease in which the cornea thins and changes shape. The distortion bordered between moderate and severe, making him nearsighted. He couldn't drive at night, even with glasses. And he had to wear them all of the time. Without glasses he could barely make out his own image in the mirror.

' _You will need to have a corneal transplant later down the tract,' the eye specialist had told him._

How had he gone from being so strong to so pathetically weak?

The migraines had gradually abated. At first he'd been bed ridden with them, wishing he was dead. Strong medication was given and it helped him function at least, but the side effects were not pleasant. They often made him dizzy, drowsy with muscle cramps and weakness. Sometimes he broke out in hives and it felt like his skin was on fire. Then there was that fun drug which caused swelling in his face, fingers, feet and lower legs. However, that drug was the most effective. The swelling he could live with. It was better than muscle cramps. He felt more alert. Okay, so he didn't look good, but after the intense pain he'd been through over the last month, he'd deal.

Much of that was behind him now. He still had sensitivity to light, which meant he had to wear photochromatic lenses in his glasses that would tint when exposed to bright light. Which unfortunately meant he couldn't wear contact lenses. The glasses allowed him to function as a normal person. There had been days when he'd lain in bed wondering if he'd ever get out of it, wondering if he would have a normal life again.

How he'd missed those spikes. Freak or not, but they had made him strong and fast. He'd been an asset, needed and wanted. Then after he was nothing more than a burden. Useless. Totally and completely useless.

It was that thought alone that had eaten away at him in the early days. Lost in his own self-pity. It wasn't until he saw the damaged half human, half turned skidder kids that he was able to gain perspective.

When he was with them he felt whole, accepted in a way that no one completely human would ever understand. The look of joy on the young children's faces when he walked into the classroom every morning was enough for him. He would tell stories of his fallen comrades. Not just the human ones, but mostly the Skidder rebels and their leader.

" _Red Eye they called him. Red Eye could no longer remember his name, like them, he was taken as a small boy and harnessed. He evolved into another being he did not know, losing all sight of his own true identity. His people were destroyed, their culture all but lost. All he had left were distant memories. He had to fight to hold onto those memories. He had to fight really hard."_

Gracie, the youngest of the half human skidder kids, would always find a way to crawl onto his lap. They had managed to find adoptive parents for the majority of the younger children, but Gracie was too much Skidder looking and people just couldn't bring themselves to still see her as a human child. The Skidder kids were kept apart from the other children, mostly for their own protection.

Ben had all but more or less adopted Gracie as his own sister. She lived with him, at his Dad and Anne's place. She had her own room. She spent her free time playing with his baby half-sister, Lily. Lily was now 12 months old, and into everything. Knowing no differently Lily adored Gracie. It gave him hope that tomorrow's generation would be more accepting with differences of race and species.

Matt lived with them too. He spent a lot of his free time helping him with the Skidder kids. It was hard to believe that his younger brother was 15 going on 16. He'd even caught him kissing Evelyn in the living room when they thought no one was around.

At first Ben had been sort of shocked. His little kid brother kissing a girl. Damn, but his kid brother had more of a love life than he did! How was that even fair?

He was so going to get over Maggie one of these days. She was just a part of his past. An idealistic dream. He could get pass his feelings for her, he could get … the doorbell chimed.

"Ben, can you get that," Anne called out from the kitchen.

He walked to the door, pulled it open and there she stood.

"Maggie," he began, heart pounding. He managed to compose his facial features. "You look …."

She looked absolutely beautiful. Her hair falling over her shoulders in long golden waves.

"Great," he continued. "Pregnancy certainly agrees with you."

He nearly melted when she flashed that warm smile of hers.

"You are a sweet heart, Ben. I so can't wait to have my body back and right now I feel like ten ton Tessie."

She had to be exaggerating right? That's what women did, though he couldn't figure out why?

He shook his head. "You don't look like ten ton Tessie."

She dazzled him with another smile. He could feel the hint of colour in his cheeks. Oh, crap, the last thing he wanted was for her to see him blush.

"Um, come inside," he hurriedly added, stepping back to let her pass. He caught a waft of her perfume. She smelt good. He still remembered the feel of her in his arms. The softness of her skin, lithe and graceful as her body moulded into his and … best not to go there.

Pulling his errant thoughts into line, he fell into step with her. They walked towards the kitchen.

"How is the teaching going?" she asked.

"Really good, it's very rewarding."

Her warm beautiful eyes glanced up at him. "You are amazing with those kids. And your adoptive daughter."

Ben was so tongue tied by the compliment, he could barely find his voice. "Adoptive daughter?" he finally managed to say and raised an eyebrow. "I'm a bit young to be a Dad."

"You had to grow up quick though, with everything that had happened to you."

"I guess."

"Gracie sees you as her father replacement figure and you do it so seemingly where as I'm completely terrified with becoming a mother and I'm eight years older than you."

Was it really just his imagination that a certain understanding still existed between them despite the fact she hadn't had the spikes in many years. It was uncanny that she still had the knack of knowing him all too well. And that was the problem. There really were not any other girls here that would ever understand him in the same way Maggie did. He was too changed.

"You shouldn't be," he stammered. "I think you will make an amazing Mom."

They stopped walking. Her hand rested on his arm. "Thank you, Ben."

Gracie came running into the room. "Aunty Maggie," she called out.

Ben welcomed the distraction. Maggie caught the girl in her arms. "Hey there Gracie girl, how was your day?"

"It could have been better, some boys were being mean when Ben I were walking home and Ben got into a fight."

Maggie shot a worried look his way. "Again?"

"It wasn't much of a fight," he shrugged off. Nothing out of the ordinary really. He was used to it. It still infuriated him when anyone else teased Gracie. He on the other hand could take it and could easily ignore the barbs.

"I really don't have that physical strength anymore."

"You sound like you miss it."

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he averted his eyes from hers. "Sometimes I do."

"Even knowing that it would considerably shorten your life span, not to mention the damage it did to your eyesight and internal organs. You barely survived, Ben."

"My internal organs are perfectly fine now."

"Yes, you have youth on your side to thank for that, but you still don't know how that's going to go long term."

"It wasn't the spikes that caused that damage."

He still recalled their conversation. How he'd told her that communicating with the Esphani hub and learning everything was just as important to him as her having the spikes removed.

"I still won't ever forgive myself for letting you go and do that, not now, not after seeing you in so much agony in that hospital bed."

"And if you hadn't let me go we might not be standing here today," he quietly added. "I knew what I had to do."

She left out a sigh. "You Mason men are all so stubborn and strong minded."

He raised an eyebrow. "Coming out of the mouth of someone who is so fiercely self-reliant and independent."

An ironic smile crossed her face. "Point taken."

Her hand slipped into his and she gently squeezed his fingers. "I think you are all remarkable."

And this was exactly why he couldn't stop loving her.

Gracie was tugging on his other hand, now she didn't have his or Maggie's attention, but he welcomed it. Was Maggie even aware of his feelings towards her? He hoped not. He'd learned to wear a mask to hide his emotions behind over the years.

"Tell Maggie about how well you did in your maths test."

Gracie chatted away as they walked into the kitchen. Anne looked up from stirring a pot on the stove, Lily on one hip.

"Is it that the time already?" Anne exclaimed.

"Yep, my five month pregnancy check-up," Maggie replied.

Pregnancy check-up, damn, he sure had lousy timing. He'd forgotten how much Maggie hated hospitals and came to their house for her medical examinations.

"Can you look after Lily for me?" Anne continued, shoving Lily into his arms.

"Sure."

"And keep an eye on the stove, make sure the soup doesn't burn."

Okay, kids he could do, cooking on the other hand could be a problem. Anne led Maggie into the bedroom and Lily, excited to have her older brother, started planting sloppy kisses all over his cheek. Grabbing fistfuls of his hair, she squealed.

"You still in the hair pulling phase." He grimaced.

He gently pulled her hands away from his hair. One chubby hand, now free from his hair, promptly pulled the glasses off his face.

"No … Lily, give me back my glasses."

The glasses went in her mouth and he groaned. Now he would have to spend a good five minutes cleaning baby slobber from them. She was so adorable though. He ran a hand over his soft downy hair before placing a kiss on the top of her head.

Hearing the front door open, Ben looked up at the blurred shape of what he assumed to be his younger brother.

"Matt?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Great, can you look after Lily?"

He shoved the baby girl in his arms before he had a chance to respond, and grabbed the glasses from her hand. Ben began washing them under the running tap water in the sink.

"I was going to study with Evelyn," Matt mumbled.

"Really," Ben returned with a smirk, "And study what exactly? How to kiss?"

"No," Matt scoffed.

Ben dried his glasses with a tea towel and waited for it. Matt always told him everything.

"Okay, well maybe," Matt continued. "I really like her. She's smart and she gets me, not like the other girls around here."

Yep, he could totally relate to that.

"Just that I don't know what to do. I want to kiss her, and she wants me to kiss her, but I'm not sure if I'm doing it right or if I'm even very good at it."

God, Ben couldn't even remember the last time he kissed a girl. But he had certainly replayed out his memories of kissing Maggie over and over again in his mind, till it would drive him crazy.

"You've kissed a girl before right, Ben."

Ben stopped cleaning his glasses for a moment, not liking where the conversation might be headed.

"Yeah, while ago now."

"You ever had … you know like sex."

Ben just about choked on his own saliva. What the hell!

"Um … well … um … no … kind of was busy with the war and all, and well then I was sick with those migraines and well … kind of been busy with teaching the kids, and tell me seriously you are not thinking of having sex at your age?!"

He shoved the glasses back on his face, and turned around to look his brother straight in the eye.

"You are only 15."

Matt was frowning. "Jeez, you are sounding more like Dad by the day. It's kind of scary and other kids my age have done it."

Terrific, now he sounded just like his dad. He might as well be 40 instead of 20. Ben took a deep steadying breath. "But 15 is still sort of young. How can you really know what you want at that age?"

"I remember Hal going out with Karen and he was only 16 at the time and I'm pretty sure they might have done it."

"Well maybe this is a conversation you should have with, Hal."

His all hot, conquering hero and get all the girls' older brother. He fought down the building resentment. He loved Hal. If it wasn't for Hal he wouldn't even be here. He'd be more of a deformed Skidder than the majority of the kids he now taught. In fact he'd be too far gone and would have evaporated into a pile of ash along with the Esphani. But there were times when … he just couldn't help being a tad jealous. What did Hal have that he didn't? Is that why Maggie loved him more?

"I wouldn't have sex with her. I just wanted to know about it," Matt stammered. "Just in case, one day … she might … it might … you know … happen … in the future."

Feeling a brother tenderness sweep over him, Ben raised a hand and ruffled Matt's hair.

"You want to make sure it's with the right girl and all," he said. "And that she has your best interest at heart."

Matt frowned. "How do you know that though? How can you be sure of anything?"

His younger brother, always the deep thinker. And that was one very good question he couldn't honestly answer.

"Is that why you haven't found another girl to like?" Matt continued.

Ben blinked and distracted himself with stirring the soup. "Yeah, I guess."

"Because you still love, Maggie."

Ben stopped stirring the pot and closed his eyes. He should have known better, nothing really escaped Matt's attention.

He turned around to face him.

"Okay, maybe … yes, but you can't tell anyone. Promise me."

Matt nodded. "Of course, you know I always keep my word."

Of course he could trust Matt. How many times had he promised his younger brother to keep a secret for him over the years?

"I don't think she is ever going to love you," Matt spoke, "Not like that, only ever like a brother."

He sighed. "I know, but I just can't stop the feelings. Wish I could."

Matt nodded, a solemn look on his face.

"I know what you mean."

Lily began to squirm in Matt's arms, eager to go and investigate.

"Gracie," Ben called, "Lily wants to play."

Gracie appeared and Matt put Lily down. Gracie took hold of Lily's hand and led her to the building blocks.

"You ever wonder what Gracie looked like before this happened to her?" Matt murmured beside him.

Ben shook his head. "No. Doesn't matter what she looks like. In her mind and heart she is still the same girl. It's just everyone else that sees her as being different."

"How old is she?"

Ben shrugged. "I'm not sure, maybe 8."

"You mean to tell me she was only 3 when she was harnessed?"

"More like five. Kids harnessed longer than three years were too far gone to help."

For a moment they watched the two girls play with the blocks. Gracie patiently showing Lily how to build blocks, but Lily was more intent with chewing on them. The only human thing left about Gracie were her eyes and voice. But the heart … well that was still totally human and hadn't changed at all, just like 'Red Eye' some of them managed to retain a part of their former selves.

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A/N: This chapter is mostly reflective and establishes where the characters are at. Next chapter it gets interesting.

Leave a review if you like, they are always very much appreciated and inspire me to continue.

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	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I initially spelled 'Skidder' as 'Skitter' and then I read an article were they spelled it as 'Skidder' so I change it, but every article I've read since, has spelled it as Skitter. Sigh. So I've now changed the spelling back to Skitter. Just some trivial information :)**_

 _ **Here is next chapter. Enjoy! Updates are quick at this stage as I've already written the first three chapters.**_

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 _ **CHAPTER TWO.**_

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Life had returned to some semblance of normality. Family meals at a dinner table being one of them. His dad was a stickler for keeping up certain traditions. Ben didn't mind family dinner time, but he and his dad didn't always see eye to eye. There once was a time he wouldn't have questioned his father at all, but since the end of the war, lots of things had changed. People acting as if the war had never happened, reverting back to how life used to be.

"You know they are officially opening the first university," his dad spoke.

Like that, what was with that?

His father glanced his way. "You should attend, Ben."

Ben merely snorted before shoving a forkful of mashed potato in his mouth. He swallowed and glanced at his dad. "Why?"

A slight frown dented his dad's forehead. Was it disappointment that flashed in his dad's eyes right now? Probably concern, or maybe both?

"C'mon, Dad," he exclaimed. "They are just money making institutions that slap a whole lot of ridiculous tests to gauge our supposedly intelligence. Do we really need them? Learning on the job is much more effective and practical. We don't need to revert back to the old ways."

Matt's eyes widened. He warningly shook his head as if to say, _'don't go there.'_

He could feel his dad's eyes studying him, as if trying to figure him out.

"That was your dream once, to attend the best university. You wanted to go to Yale."

Ben inwardly sighed, couldn't his dad get it?

"I'm not the same idealistic kid anymore," he pointed out.

His father nodded in a way that told Ben he wasn't pleased and was about to start of some sort of lecture supporting his point of view.

"I know you're not. And I'm proud of you, Ben. You know that, but there is still a lot you can and should learn …"

"About our history," he butted in.

"Well that's part of it," his dad began, but Ben cut him off.

"I don't care about it. It's sort of irrelevant now, just like having to elect a President. Wouldn't it make more sense to have a collective group of people with equal power and responsibility?"

"The President doesn't hold total power," his father sighed.

Ben pushed on, irrespective of what his dad believed or had to say.

"If you ask me I think the Volm have the right idea. If we should be learning anything, then we should learn other customs outside of just ours. It makes us ignorant if we don't."

Sudden silence descended at the dinner table. Ben noticed the way his dad's jaw clenched. He'd obviously hit a nerve. He could feel his own annoyance rise.

"You spend a lot time with the Volm," his dad began. "You're beginning to sound ashamed to be human."

Ben stabbed at the peas on his plate.

"Sometimes I am." He'd seen the way people treated the half Skitter kids. Maybe they had learned a thing or two from the war, but people still didn't like different.

His father's expression changed to one of concern. Ben swallowed and returned his attention to his plate of food. His appetite deserting him. Picking up a fork, he forced himself to eat. Did his dad really believe everything could go back to normal afterwards, as if the war had never happened? A war that had wiped out 90% of the human population, turning people into monsters.

"Forget I said anything," he muttered.

Noise returned to the table, but Ben was lost in his own thoughts. Anne chatted about her day, about Maggie's pregnancy check-up. That was the last thing he wanted to hear about.

Excusing himself from the table, Ben made a hasty retreat to his bedroom. A restlessness took hold, mixed up with a whole host of different emotions he was normally good at burying. Anger, pain and sense of hopelessness swept over him. When he felt this way there was only one thing to do; run.

Changing into a pair of tracksuit pants and navy blue t-shirt, he pulled on a pair of sneakers.

"Ben," his dad called from the other side of the door.

Ben inwardly sighed. It was only a matter of time before his dad tracked him down. He wasn't one for letting go. Ben wasn't in the mood for another one of his dad's pep talks. He needed to release the building emotions coursing through him.

Yanking the door open, he all but glared at his father.

"Not now, Dad. You can talk all you want later, but right now I've got to run."

His dad pinpointed him with a concerned look. "Where exactly?"

"My usual track."

"At night?! Do you think that's a good idea with your impaired vision? You know how bad it is when it's dark."

Ben clenched his jaw. The last thing he needed was to be reminded of his so called disability.

"I'm not blind yet," he hissed and pushed past his father.

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The cold night air was soothing on his flushed face. Hearing the rhythm of his heart beat in keeping with his strides as he ran up the track that led to the newly built dam, was comforting. He could feel all tension oozing away. It was a good five mile run to the dam and back. Lucky for him it was a full moon, otherwise he'd practically be running blind. Even though he'd ran this track countless times during the day it looked different at night. Dark shadows blurred into each other on the outer periphery of his vision. He welcomed the solitude, the familiar noises of the night. An owl hooted in the distance.

This was good. He felt calm again.

Ben didn't see the person in front of him till it was too late. His body collided with theirs, and they both went tumbling to the ground.

A body, light in weight, landed on top of him, knocking the wind out of him. By some luck his glasses hadn't fallen off his face.

"What the hell!" A voice exclaimed, sounding every bit a girl.

She abruptly scampered off him, and he struggled to sit up.

"What are you playing at? I saw you, and you just ran straight into me?!" she raged, her voice sounding familiar.

Ben managed to scramble to his feet. "I'm sorry," he panted. "I just didn't see you."

"Are you fucking blind?!"

He could feel his temper rising. Peering into her face, he pushed his glasses up his nose. She had the most irritating voice that was also disconcertingly familiar and … "You!" he exclaimed.

She scowled up at him. "No way, bloody 'holier than thou', Ben Mason."

God, he couldn't stand her. Just his luck to run into her. Every morning he had to see her mocking face when she dropped her adopted half Skitter sister to the 'Skitter School.' Her exact words. He remembered them.

' _So what's it like teaching at the Skitter School?'_

' _Refreshing,' he'd replied._

 _He hadn't missed the repulsion of her face as she gazed around the room at the other kids. Her parents were so nice that he couldn't figure out how they managed to have such a snarky brat for a daughter._

' _Really,' she'd mocked. 'I guess it must be challenging to teach witless barely human kids day in, day out.'_

 _Was she for real?!_

' _They are surprisingly more intelligent than the average human person.'_

 _She had glared up at him. He had glared down at her. And that became their typical morning exchange when she dropped off her adopted sister. A glare for a glare._

He shook his head, she was the last person he wanted to see right now. For the most part, he ignored her, as if she wasn't worth his attention.

"What are doing out here?" he snapped.

"I could say the same."

"I'm running."

"Me too and I run this track every night and I've never seen you on it before."

They stood, hands on hips, glaring at each other.

"I generally run during the day." Not that he had to explain anything to her.

"Good thinking, better sticking to that arrangement so I don't have to see your conceited face, because it's bad enough seeing it every morning."

"Feelings mutual," he retorted.

Her eyes swept over him with disdain, before resting on his face. "You're obviously blind as a bat even with glasses."

"Charming as ever, Amy," he grunted.

She tossed her ponytail over her shoulder, still glaring at him. "Aren't you even going to ask if I'm okay?"

No, not really. He didn't care.

"Because I'm not," she all but spat out. "I think you've MADE me sprain my ankle."

She what ….

"Which means you are going to have to help me get home."

He froze. What the hell! No way!

"Shit," he muttered, raking a hand through his hair.

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It was awkward to the say the least, having her lean on him as they made their way back to town.

"Don't be getting any ideas either, keep your hands in the appropriate places," she grumbled.

"I wouldn't touch you if you paid me," he retorted.

"So I'm not good enough for the 'all mighty' Ben Mason," she mocked.

Just having her grip his arm, and him having to put his other arm around her was bad enough without her shooting of her mouth all the time.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you married one of those weird and ugly looking Aliens you seem to love hanging out with," she began.

"They are called the Volm," he interjected.

"Whatever," she snorted. "As I was saying I wouldn't be surprised if you married one of them and started a whole new tribe of half breeds to repopulate the planet."

Did he have to endure this for another two miles?

"How old are you?"

"18, why?"

Really. She was that old.

"You don't act it."

Given the way her shoulders stiffened, she hadn't like hearing that. He smiled to himself. Good.

Half a mile later, the pain in her ankle had intensified. Ben had resorted to giving her a piggy back. Much to his chagrin. This night was just getting worse and worse. Luckily she was light, but for some one on the petite side she sure had a mouth on her. Not to mention every now and again her ponytail, the one she loved tossing over her shoulder in all of her haughtiness, would fall into his face, tickling his nose. He'd push her hair out of his face, his frustration mounting. He could swear she was doing it on purpose. He couldn't wait till this was over.

"You have a lot of scars on the back of your neck," she spoke.

Obviously it was too much for her to remain quiet for long.

"Really," he began sarcastically. "I hadn't noticed."

He felt her pull the top of his t-shirt back. "What are you doing?"

She let out a low whistle. "Wow, it's bad."

He promptly stopped, letting her go. She fell to the ground with a squawk, hopping on one leg. Scowling at him. "What was that for?"

"You have no right!" he yelled, feeling outraged.

"Ease up, for someone who's an Alien lover you sure are touchy about the scars on your back."

"No doubt you find them as repulsive as the kids in the Skitter school," he accused.

She frowned. "Get over yourself, Ben Mason. You forget my adopted sister is half Skitter and I've seen the worst of it."

Now he felt kind of stupid, she was right. "You said it was bad."

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't see much of anything, too dark. I only said that to get a reaction out of you."

He didn't at all understand her. "Why?"

"Because you piss me off. You act as if you are so much better than us."

"I don't know how you get that impression and frankly I don't even care," he returned.

"You see, the way you use words, not to mention you don't even associate with people your own age or species."

Ben worked his jaw in frustration. "It's not because I think I'm better. I just don't fit in. That's all it is."

She shrugged nonchalantly as if it didn't matter either way.

He shook his head and took a deep breath. "Let's just get home." The sooner the better.

Squatting down, she climbed onto his back. He started walking, his legs aching. He hadn't expected to be lugging someone on his back for two miles.

There was silence for a while. Was there any truth in what she had said? Did other people his age think he was up himself? Quite truthfully he didn't think any of them would care. He'd been a freak for so long now it almost felt normal. He didn't even expect to be accepted by fellow peers his own age.

He felt her fingers touch the scars on the back of his neck.

"Is it from the harness?" she asked.

The question startled him for a moment. For a change her tone wasn't mocking.

"Yes."

"Did it hurt?"

He shook his head. "No. I don't remember much of it."

"How old were you when it happened."

"14."

He was surprised by her sudden curiosity.

"How did you get away from the Skitters?"

"I didn't, not on my own. When you're harnessed you no longer have free will. My brother and dad found me. Dad killed the Skitter who controlled me along with five other kids. They took us back to the base they were living at. Anne removed the harness from my back otherwise I'd be looking even more Skitterish than your adopted sister."

"Now that is a tragedy," she murmured. "She still has nightmares."

"A lot of them do."

"No one can settle her afterwards."

"There is a trick to that."

"Like what."

Ben didn't know what to make of her. Was this the same girl?

"Stop by the school one day and I'll show you, if you like."

Were they actually having a conversation now?

"I'll tell my mom. I don't have much to do with Sarah. I only tolerate her because I have too."

Ben gritted his teeth, and there was the Amy he knew. She really was a bitch, but even so, his curiosity was aroused.

"Why?"

"She isn't my sister. She will never be my sister."

There was so much venom in her words, that Ben was momentarily shocked. Why the hate and anger? And why should he even care? She was just an immature spoilt brat that hated everyone and especially him. Despite it all, her words bothered him. There was more to it. She was hurting. Something must have happened to her to cause all that hate. It wasn't surprising either. No one had escaped that war unscathed.

There was silence for the remainder of the hike to Amy's house. He'd given anything to shut her up at the start, but now he found the silence disconcerting.

They had just about reached her house, when she finally spoke. "After they took the harness off how did you feel?"

It was the last thing he expected her to ask. She was the oddest girl.

"Disorientated," he replied. "I didn't know where I was or who I was. There were people around, my brothers, but I didn't recognise them at first. Then my dad called my name and the memories slowly returned. It was like waking from a dream." He could still recall it as if it were yesterday. "I was still me. I was Ben."

"You were lucky," she murmured, her breath warm against his neck.

He felt strangely comforted by this angry, unpredictable girl, who swung from hot to cold in the matter of a minute.

"I know," he sighed.

Finally her house came into view. His legs were numb by this stage. It was a blessed relief when she slid off his back. He bent over and reached for his toes to stretch out his back.

"Even though you're not heavy, after two miles everything aches."

"Lucky for you I don't weigh a ton," she quipped.

So, she had a sense of humour under all that anger and snarky attitude. He straightened up and for the first time he actually took in her appearance. She certainly didn't look 18 and more like 16. Her face was devoid of any make-up. Her long brown hair tied back in a ponytail, the very one that had so pissed him off every time if fell in his face.

A puzzled frown dented her forehead. "You checking me out now?"

Again there was that mocking tone in her voice, the one he didn't like.

"There's not much to check out." The words just slipped out before he could stop them.

He shook his head. "I didn't mean it like that."

She shrugged. "I really don't care what you think of me."

He gritted his teeth. "That's right, how stupid of me to forget that you hate me."

They glared at each other for the hundredth time that night.

"And for the record," she piped up, "You're not much to look at either."

She could be so infuriating.

"I guess not. I don't care either."

He really couldn't fathom how she managed to get under his skin so easily.

"You know," he continued. "All this bickering is really juvenile."

"Hmm and the way I see it you are equally participating in it."

He clenched his jaw.

She raised an eyebrow, looking smug. "How old are you?"

He didn't have to answer that. He wasn't about to give her the satisfaction and luckily he was saved from having to say anything more, when the front door opened.

"Oh, Amy," Sarah exclaimed, running towards her. "You're home." The younger girl wrapped her arms around Amy's waist.

Was there actually a hint of fondness in Amy's eyes? Wasn't the girl hugging her the same adopted sister she had so vehemently denied would never be her sister?

As if aware she was being watched by him, Amy disentangled Sarah's arms from her waist.

"Why don't you run inside and get a big glass of water for Mr Mason."

Sarah frowned. "You mean Ben?"

Amy's gaze met his. "Yes, I mean Ben."

The young girl ran back inside and Ben didn't miss the curiosity in Amy's eyes.

"You don't make them call you Mr Mason?"

"I'm just not ready to be called that yet," he stammered. "Beside it makes me think of my dad."

Her eyes studied his face.

"You don't look old enough to be a teacher," she observed.

"Technically speaking I'm not, but age doesn't really matter anymore does it? I was fighting a war and killing Skitters at just 15. My younger brother was doing it at 12."

Her head tiled to one side, eyes alight with interest.

"How many Skitters have you killed?"

"I don't know. Too many to count."

He began to squirm uncomfortably under her sudden attentive gaze.

"I just can't picture you being this macho gun wielding Skitter killing machine."

He smiled at the definition.

"Yeah well, after they removed the harness I still had the spikes in my back and they gave me this strength I'd never had before. I could run without tiring and jump off four storey buildings. It was pretty cool."

A glimmer of smile hovered at the corners of her mouth. "And now you are just boringly normal."

He nodded and sighed. "Yep."

Her questioning gaze met his. "You are a bit of an enigma, Ben Mason."

"Does that mean you've changed your former opinion of me as being 'holier than thou'?" he quipped.

Her smile widened. "Maybe."

Now this was definitely odd. She was almost being likeable. When she smiled it changed her whole countenance. She almost looked kind nice, and even pretty.

Sarah returned with a glass of water. Ben thankfully took it from her. He was dying from thirst.

After sculling the contents of the glass, he looked up to find both the girls watching him. He couldn't even begin to read Amy's expression, only it wasn't one of disdain for a change.

"I need to get home and collapse into my bed," he began, handing the now empty glass to Sarah. "Thanks for the water."

"I guess this is where I should thank you for half carrying me home, even though you caused me to sprain my ankle in the first place."

He raised an eyebrow. "So is that a thank you or not?"

"I guess it's my screwed up way of saying thank you."

"Okay then, you're welcome, Amy."

Reaching out a hand, he tousled Sarah's hair. "I'll see you at school."

He glanced at Amy and nodded. It had been a weird night to say the least. He gave a quick warm smile.

"I'm sure I'll see you around."

With that, he turned away and left.

Amy stood there somewhat surprised as she watched Ben Mason's retreating back. Just when she seriously wanted to hate the guy, he could be surprisingly charming. All her former judgements of him were put into a tail spin.

She had him figured out wrong.

Ben Mason was far from being up himself, and not even remotely 'holier than thou'. He was in fact unlike any other guy she'd ever met.

He was warm, caring and great with kids. He was undeniably cute, though she hated to admit it. She had been completely lying when she told him he wasn't much to look at. She couldn't really get a good look at his eyes behind the thick lensed glasses he wore, and it being night and all.

He was also smart, though somewhat short tempered. Still, she had been horrible to him. She had also been impressed that he could take it, and also dish it back to her.

"He's so dreamy isn't he?" Sarah sighed alongside her.

Amy turned to her shocked. "Whoa Sarah, you are much too young for that sort of girly nonsense."

Sarah held her head high. "I'm 11, nearly 12."

Amy inwardly sighed. It was about time they had a girl to girl talk when it came to boys.

* * *

Amy had no sooner stepped inside when her mother started to give her the third degree. She was lying on the sofa with an ice pack on her ankle. Under the light it was significantly swollen.

"You know I don't like you running that track to the lake at night," her mom huffed as she inspected her ankle. "Let's just hope it isn't broken."

Amy winced as her mom removed the ice pack and began to strap her ankle.

"You are just lucky it was Ben Mason who found you …"

"He didn't find me," Amy interrupted. "He ran straight into me, causing the now sprained ankle."

"He's a very nice young man, unlike that boy you are seeing."

"You mean Jed?"

She only went out with Jed because he supplied her with alcohol. He was 21, which meant he could buy alcohol for her. They had their boozy nights, which would send her mother through the roof. Her parents had tried grounding her on numerous occasions, but she'd just walk out of the house. She was 18. She wasn't a child, they could no longer tell her what to do. As for love, no chance of that ever happening. Her heart had already been ripped out once. She wasn't about to let that happen again. Not that she had a heart to break anymore.

But lately, Amy hadn't been happy with Jed. He was starting to demand sexual favours in replacement for the alcohol. She had spent the last week avoiding him. She had taken to running in the evenings to distract herself. Part of her wanted to break free from her addiction, but the other part still craved it. Alcohol numbed the pain. It meant she could forget all that she had lost for a little while.

"So what did you think of him?" her mom casually enquired.

"Don't even think about trying to match make us," she growled.

Her mom shot her an indignant look. "I've given up on that."

"Maybe if I was Alien he might be interested in me," she couldn't help to quip.

The displeased look that crossed her mom's face was just as she expected. "You have to admit that he doesn't associate with anyone his own age."

"Well I guess it's difficult for him. He's been through a lot. It must have been horrible for him to be harnessed, then having it removed and having to adjust to being a bit different."

Amy didn't doubt that. He had been surprisingly open when answering her questions.

"I admit that he isn't as stuck up as I thought," she confessed. "But I still don't get how he didn't see me. There was even a full moon. The guy is seriously blind as a bat."

Her mom shot her a sudden worried look.

"Please tell me you didn't say that to him tonight, Amy?"

She bit down on her lip.

"I might have … why?"

Her mom shook her head in disappointment. "When will you ever stop that sharp tongue of yours?"

"It didn't seem to bother him," she blurted out in her defence. "So I don't see what the big deal is?"

"The big deal is that Ben will be blind soon enough if he doesn't have a cornea transplant."

Amy suddenly felt horrible. Oh god, she had even accused him of being 'fucking blind.' No wonder he didn't like her. She wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to talk to her again.

For some strange reason the thought of him hating her didn't sit right. She didn't want him to hate her. And since when did his opinion of her matter?!

"I didn't know!" she exclaimed. "How do you know?"

"Because I work in the organ donation branch at the new hospital, and his father has placed his name on the organ transplant list for a cornea transplant, though it's not labelled urgent at this point in time it's still something he will need to have. And with the now dramatically dwindled population, people donating their organs when they die is not on anyone's top priority list."

"So you're basically saying that the chances of him getting a cornea transplant before he goes blind are slim?"

Her mom nodded. "Possibly."

That would be so awful for him. He didn't deserve to have that happen to him.

"I feel bad now," she murmured.

She felt her mom place a hand on her shoulder. "Whatever you do don't tell him you know about it. I probably shouldn't have told you."

Amy nodded, feeling kind of wretched. She fought to hold onto her anger. Anger was good, it kept the deep ache in her heart at bay.

"It's not fair," she murmured.

Her heart thudded painfully in her chest. A cold chill swept over her. "It … isn't fair."

Her mom stroked her arm. "Amy, what is it?" Sudden concern laced her voice.

Amy felt tears fill her eyes.

"I-I … asked him about what it was like to be harnessed."

She couldn't even bring herself to look at her mom, she knew what she would see there, pity. How she hated any form of pity.

"Because of Lucy?"

Amy screwed her eyes shut. It still hurt so much when anyone mentioned her kid sister's name.

Swallowing back emotion, she said in a strained voice. "I just had to know."

She drew her knees up to her chest, rocking back and forth. "I had to know what Lucy would have gone through."

Her throat ached with repressed tears. Memories she fought to keep at bay filtered through. Skitters, dragging her sister away whilst she cowered in the closet, too paralysed with fear to move. Lucy screaming her name over and over again. And she couldn't … she couldn't do … anything.

Her mom placed a hand on her back. "It's not your fault …"

A sudden fierce rage hit her. She angrily pushed her mom's arm away.

"Don't say that!" she yelled. "It's a lie! I killed her! You know I did! I let her outside and it's my fault she was taken! So don't you tell me otherwise!"

Amy drew further into herself, shutting out the world around her. A black hole opened in the pit of her stomach. She could feel herself falling into it.

"Honey … please just let me help you?"

No one could help her. She wasn't worthy to be saved.

The entire façade of her life had crashed down into fragments around her that fateful day, and there was no chance of the pieces fitting back together.

All that had once be fine in her had gone to rot.

All she had left was rage.

* * *

Ben quietly let himself into the house. Everyone appeared to have gone to bed. It was well past eleven.

He was just about to retire to his bedroom, when he saw his father sitting in an armchair. He'd nodded off, a book still open on his lap. No doubt he was waiting up for him to return home.

For a moment, Ben felt a bit bad. He didn't blame his dad for wanting to have a normal life, as much as possible, for his sons.

Only, he was never going to be normal. Not after everything he'd been through. Part of him missed the mental connection he had with the rebel Skitters, especially Red Eye. The sharing of thoughts and feelings without words was incredibly special. He couldn't even begin to explain it. It wasn't something he could have with a human.

He did spend quite a lot of his free time with the Volm. Conchise had been teaching him how to speak their language. Though there was no mental connection, Ben still felt a spiritual one. Culture, outside of his own, interested him in a way it probably wouldn't have if he'd never been harnessed.

However, family was still the most important thing to him.

Reaching out a hand, he touched his dad's shoulder and lightly gave him a shake. "Dad."

He dad woke up, startled for a moment, before his gaze rested on him.

"Ben," he began, running a hand through his hair. "You're back."

He looked relieved, and Ben felt a jerk for his behaviour earlier tonight.

"Yeah, look I'm sorry about before."

His father nodded. "It's been difficult for you."

He stood up. His warm gaze met with his. His dad's hand rested on his shoulder.

"I guess I just want you to have what I had at your age. For life to return to some sort of normalcy."

He didn't have the heart to tell his dad that wasn't going to happen for him. Hell, he taught half skitter kids, trying to help them adjust. Would they ever be able to walk down a street without people looking at them without fear or mistrust? That was his life now.

"I am happy doing what I'm doing," he spoke. "Teaching the kids gives me a lot of satisfaction."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." His dad gave an ironic smile. "Was once a teacher too."

Funny that. _"Father like son, son like father."_ Anne was always saying about them.

His dad pulled him into a warm hug. "I am proud of you." He pulled back to look at him.

"Just don't forget you're still human too, and you need to have friends your own age to keep you grounded."

Well, that was interesting. Maybe his father had a point.

He nodded. "Okay."

His father ruffled his hair. "I'm off to bed."

Ben watched him leave. Family is what had kept him sane and grounded. He considered himself lucky to still have his brothers. They knew and understood him, but people his own age he couldn't bring himself to trust.

A sudden exhaustion took hold. Ben dragged himself off to bed. He fell asleep soon as his head hit the pillow, which was unusual for him. He felt perfectly content. It wouldn't last though, it never did.

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* * *

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 **A/N: I hope you all liked it. I love reviews as any fanfic writer does, so please post one. You don't have to be clever with it, any words with encouragement of some kind are always very much appreciated. You can even tell me what you like the most, or what you would like to see and I'll try to oblige.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

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	3. Chapter 3

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* * *

 _ **CHAPTER THREE.**_

* * *

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Ben slept surprisingly well that night, probably out of sheer physical exhaustion from lugging Amy on his back for two miles. It had been a most unusual night. Running into a girl he couldn't stand, carrying her on his back and sort of liking her in a weird way by the end of the night.

Pushing the covers aside, Ben swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Every muscle in his body ached. He groaned and fumbled for his glasses on the bedside table. Amy had said he was an enigma, but if anyone was an enigma it was definitely her.

Making his way down the hallway, Ben flicked on the light switch to Matt's bedroom in passing.

"Time to get up," he called out.

Matt pulled the pillow over his head. "I hate you!" he yelled back in a muffled sleepy voice.

Ben grinned to himself as he walked into the bathroom. He counted to ten in his head. As usual he heard Matt get out of bed, turn the light switch off and climb back into bed.

Removing his glasses, Ben washed his face with water. Patting his face dry, he gazed at his reflection in the mirror. He was two feet away. He could just make out the contours of his face, the line of his cheek bones, his chin. Opening the cabinet, he gazed at the eye test chart taped to the back of the mirror. He traced the line of the first letter – E.

He went down to the next line – F … P.

The line after that. He knew the letters of by heart, but the only letter out of the three of them that he could now make out on that line was 'O'.

Twelve months ago he could read that line clearly enough, and even half the letters on the line beneath it.

Why was he putting himself through this torture? It's not as if his eye sight was going to get miraculously better. It was degenerative. His eye sight was gradually fading. He was going blind and the thought terrified him.

Slamming the mirror door shut, he ran a hand over his chin. Glaring at the reflection that looked back at him whilst he could still see it. Okay, so it hadn't worsened in the last few months or so. There was no point in getting worked up about something he had no control over.

After leaving the bathroom, Ben needed a distraction. He switched the light to Matt's room back on. Matt started groaning, He walked over to his bed and pulled the blankets off him. Matt fought to keep hold of them.

"You are so annoying," he grumbled. "Want to sleep."

"All that kissing with Evelyn must have tired you out," Ben teased.

Matt glared at him. "I'm so going to kill you."

"Like to see you try."

Matt leapt off the bed and the wrestling began. Play fighting his dad called it, Ben still wasn't too old for it. Neither was Hal. Though he could no longer beat Hal, he still had it over Matt. Amongst the grunts and laughter, he eventually had Matt pinned down to the bed.

"Give up?"

"Ow, all right, get off me."

Ben stood up. Matt gingerly rubbed his arms.

"You have the unfair advantage of being bigger than me," he grumbled.

Matt was the short, skinny runt of the litter in the family. It was a sore point with him.

Ben held out a hand, pulling him to his feet.

"One of these days I will beat you," Matt jokingly threatened.

"Dream on little brother," he grinned.

"Ben," Anne called from the kitchen. "Can you change Lily's diaper for me?"

The smile left his face. He groaned. Matt shot him a smug smile, patting him on the back.

"Have fun."

Ben turned on his heel and went into the nursery. Lily was standing up in her cot. A toothless grin lit up her face at the sight of him. It always made him melt. She held up her arms. He lifted her up and caught a waft of her diaper.

Screwing up his nose, he put her on the change table. "You couldn't have waited till I'd left for work?"

He was pretty adept with the whole changing diaper thing. He'd had plenty of practice at it. His dad was out of the house by six in the morning, so he often ended up the one to change Lily's diaper, or get Lily dressed, or feed Lily in her high chair. The only thing that pissed him of, was that he always managed to prick a finger on those damn diaper pins.

"You know, Lily," he talked as he struggled with the pins. "If there is one thing I wish that could return from the old days would be disposable diapers. But no, that couldn't happen could it. They can rebuild schools, hospitals and even a university. There's a President, Vice President and a whole lot of political councillor's but they can't bring back disposable diapers."

Pulling her fist out of her mouth, she smiled up at him. She was far too adorable. Diaper done, he picked her up. She cuddled into him, chatting away with her baby words.

"You are cute though."

Next thing he knew, her little hands were pulling his hair again.

"You know what I am going to do," he grimaced as he carried her to the kitchen. "I'm going to get a haircut. Then you won't have any hair to pull."

Lily gurgled, and tugged his nose. "And I know I've been saying this for the last month, but I'm going to do it, today. After school. You mark my words, Lily Mason."

"What are you going to do after school?" Anne enquired as he put Lily in her hair chair.

"Get a haircut."

He sat down at his usual seat at the table. Anne always had breakfast cooked for them in the mornings. She placed two slices of toast on his plate.

"When do you think she'll grow out of the hair pulling phase?" Matt asked.

Lily was especially fond of his curls.

"Oh, please. You boys need to toughen up," Anne smiled with a shake of her head.

"I wish I still had hair," Gracie said wistfully from her seat.

Shit, Ben inwardly moaned. He turned to look at her. "It's not all what it's cracked up to be, believe me."

"You have to brush it all the time, or you get these huge knots like this," Matt added, giving an overly dramatic demonstration with his hands. "And it really hurts when you try to untangle them."

"Matt would know with his curly mop of hair."

"I think his hair is pretty," Gracie said in a solemn tone of voice.

Matt tried not to grimace. Ben grinned at him. "Yes it is very pretty. I'm sure Evelyn loves it."

Matt glared back at him.

"In fact we are probably the only species that has dead cells growing out of our heads," Anne pointed out.

Ben pulled a face. "When you put it like that, it's kind of gross."

Gracie giggled alongside of him. And just like that, everything was fine. She really was incredibly resilient and surprisingly happy. He proceeded to finish buttering his toast.

"You are very jovial this morning, Ben," Anne observed.

"I am?"

He took a bite of his toast, and glanced up to find Anne observing him.

"Did something happen last night?" she enquired

"I bowled a girl over when I was running along the path."

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at him shocked.

"You met a girl," Matt spoke, blinking in disbelief.

"Yes, I met a girl and why are you all looking at me as if that's some kind of phenomenon," he frowned.

"Because you never talk to girls," Matt returned.

"What's her name?" Anne asked.

"What does she look like?" Matt enquired.

"How old is she?"

"Does she live nearby?"

"What's she like?"

His head bounced back and forth between Matt and Anne. He held up a hand. "Would you all just stop!"

They both closed their mouths simultaneously. Ben shook his head. This was unbelievable.

"Her name is Amy. She is 18 and she sprained her ankle when I ran into her, and so I piggy backed her home and that's the end of the story."

"Is she single?" Matt asked.

"I don't know and I don't care. And she is the last person I would ever go out with."

"Why?"

"Because she's the most frustrating girl I've ever met. She's rude. She's smart mouthed. She thinks she knows it all. I can't stand her."

Anne placed a hand over her mouth. "Oh, dear."

He frowned at her. "What."

She shook her head, looking bemused. "It's nothing."

* * *

Every week day Ben would walk up the length of Louisiana Street, with Gracie in tow, to what used to be the Union Station. Shops may be a thing of the past to date, but the markets were thriving. Set up along what was now the main streets in town, Jefferson and Madison Drive, everything was sold from food, jewellery, clothes and books. Life had reverted to an older way of living. Electricity had slowly been returned, along with running water, but technology was on a slow back burner.

Housing had been cleared and rebuilt on Independence Ave, 6th, 4th and 3rd Street SW and Church Street SW. The White House was being restored. A hospital had been built, there were now schools for regular kids. There were still large piles of rubble on the outskirts of town. It would take years to clear it.

The Capitol building had managed to remain unscathed, holding centuries of American History. The Washington Monument still stood, tall and proud. The Washington National Cathedral lay in ruins. The Woodrow Wilson Bridge was still under repair. At this point in time crossing the Potomac River relied on barges.

Housed in what used to be the National Postal Museum was the Skitter Orphanage and School. Half of the building was rubble. The beautiful historic lobby was gone. What used to the Discovery Centre was now a classroom. The Atrium no longer had a Skylight Ceiling, it was just open sky. The rooms leading off were used as living areas and bedrooms for the children. Finding staff to run the Orphanage had always been hard. Some of the older harnessed kids did the bulk of this work. Rosaline, an older woman in her late 50's, was in charge of the Orphanage. She was an amazing woman. Kind and compassionate, but firm when she needed to be.

There were a total of 120 kids living in the Orphanage. So far 45 had been adopted into other families.

When it came to the school, students were placed into the following classes. Years 1 to 3, were taught by Jane. A woman in her 40's that had been a teacher prior to the war. She was the greatest asset and the only one with real teaching experience.

Jack, one of the oldest of the Skitter kids, taught the students aged between 13 and 17. He was now 21, and like Ben had had his harnessed removed. But Jack's conversion was worse than his. The scales had already spread to his arms, up his neck, whereas as Ben's were just contained to his back.

They could always do with a lot more help. Captain Dan Weaver started a Scout Club with the boys. He would came in one day of the week, and take them out on excursions. After what had happened to his daughter, he felt compelled to help these kids adjust. Every couple of months they would camp out, Ben would go with him. Matt would come, and sometimes even Hal or his dad.

As for him, he taught the students that were in Years 4 to 7. Gracie fell into this age group, along with Sarah. He spied her walking through the door, as he put the chairs out. She was with her adopted mom. Of course he hadn't expected Amy to bring Sarah today. He briefly wondered how she was and walked over to them.

"I'm sorry about what happened last night," he began.

Mary smiled kindly. "Thank you for helping her home. I hope she wasn't too rude or awful."

He wanted to say no, but she was all of those things. He ran a hand up the back of his neck. "She had her moments."

He noticed the pallor of Mary's face, the dark rings under her eyes. The poor woman looked as if she hadn't slept.

"How is Amy?" he asked.

Tears collected in her eyes, filling him with sudden concern.

"Mary … is everything okay?"

She began to sway slightly, Ben took hold of her arm and led her to a nearby chair. "Sit down here."

He turned to Sarah, who had a troubled look on her face.

"Amy's locked herself in her bedroom and won't come out. She was screaming a lot last night."

Mary suddenly appeared to come to her senses. "Sarah why don't you go play with Gracie and let me talk to Ben for a moment."

The girl nodded, gave her mom a kiss on the cheek and went to join Gracie in the play room. Ben studied Mary with growing concern. It didn't sound good. Sitting down beside her, he sensed her need to talk.

"Amy sometimes has these moods," she began. "She's get so angry, but the anger is just the mask she uses to protect herself."

He actually understood that. He'd had a lot of anger to deal with over the years, and especially during those three months his dad was missing. Dealing with the evolving changes to his back from the spikes had filled him with such rage. He'd wanted to kill every single Skitter out there, getting Jimmy killed as a result of that anger. He hastily pushed the memories away.

"The moods pass," Mary continued. "Amy will come out of her room when she's ready. It's just last night she had a particularly bad episode."

"Because of me?" he asked, hoping not.

"Yes and no."

That didn't fill him with a lot of comfort.

"She's not angry at you, Ben. She's so angry at herself. You just bring back the memories of what had happened to her sister, my y-youngest daughter," Mary's voice caught in her throat. "You see two years ago Lucy was taken by the Skitters."

It all made sense now. Why Amy hated him so much. Why she was so curious about the harness, and what had happened to him. Why she had wanted to know how he'd gotten away from the Skitters.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "But why does she blame herself?"

"Our neighbours had a bunker. They invited us to live with them. It was a safe place as you can imagine. They had a son, Seth, who was the same age as Amy. Lucy was only 18 months younger than them. The three of them grew very close. It's not as if there was much to do during those years. But after two years had passed, we'd run out of food. Robert and I, along with Charles and Rose would go out during the day looking for food and water. Seth and Amy were 16. We would leave them on their own. However, after two years of not even seeing the sky the three of them decided to leave the bunker."

Ben could imagine the worse. He dreaded to hear what would happen next.

"The Skitters came. Amy hid in a closet, but the other two were taken a-and she's never forgiven herself."

That explained it. Explained everything actually. His heart went out to her.

"It took us ages to find her. I don't think she had moved from the closet for close to two days."

Ben swallowed the lump in his throat. Two days! She must have been so traumatised.

"She was a totally different girl after. I no longer recognised my own daughter. I had hoped with time that she might return, but it's been two years, and she just doesn't care about anything."

Ben was at a loss for words. He had heard countless stories like these, dealt with the harnessed kids on a day to day basis, and yet her story touched him.

"It takes a long time," he began, looking into her pained gaze. "Sometimes stuff happens that you can't get pass. I lost my mother. For a while I was filled with anger too."

"But you seem okay now?"

He nodded. In a matter of speaking he was. Without his family he wouldn't be. He could only imagine how he'd feel if he'd lost Matt. He didn't even know if he'd be able to get out bed if something had happened to his younger brother.

"I think you could help her," Mary spoke.

She sounded so hopeful, but he was pretty sure he would be the last person that Amy would want help from.

"Maybe. I think that would be up to Amy though. And if I'm causing the painful memories then I'm not sure how much help I can be?"

* * *

The sprained ankle was a hindrance Amy could have done without.

"Bloody Ben Mason," she muttered to herself as she hobbled to the living room.

Her emotional pain was null and void now. She had it in check. Erected a brick wall around what was left of her heart.

Right now, she had to get out of that house. Running was no longer an option, so what the hell did she do to starve off her agitation?

There was always Jed and alcohol.

She went in search of him. Given it was approaching five in the evening there was generally only one place he would now be, the local tavern. But first she needed to find the crutches. She knew dad had a pair stashed away when her mom had fractured her leg.

Amy found the crutches and hobbled the good 800 metre walk to the tavern. Everything was still a very tight knit community. No one lived far from each other. There was a total population of approximately 5,000 people, last time she heard.

"Hey, Amy," Jed called out as soon as she entered the tavern. "Long time no see."

He was sitting at the bar. Amy, gingerly made her way to the stool he sat on. Sitting down next to him, she smiled sweetly.

"I've been a bit laid up," she returned, gesturing to her ankle. "I've missed you."

He raised an eyebrow. "Is that so, because the last few times I was getting the impression that the only thing you were interested in was the booze I gave you?"

She gritted her teeth.

"I haven't had a drink in over a week," she murmured, hating this need. "I'm desperate."

He leaned in closer towards her, his eyes lingering on her breast. She shuddered.

"How desperate," he breathed, his breath reeking of beer and cigarettes.

"Give a girl a break, Jed. As you can see right now I'm really not in any position for anything physical."

His eyes lowered to her strapped ankle. "How did it happen?" he asked.

Amy looked up, right at the familiar face of ... "Ben Mason!"

What was he doing in a tavern? Ben turned her way when he heard the mention of his name. His eyes widened in surprised.

"What are you doing here?" she blurted out.

Taking the few steps that separated them, he held up a bottle.

"It's my dad's birthday. I was just picking up a bottle of wine for dinner tonight."

"Don't you have to be 21 to buy alcohol, or is it because you're Mason's kid so you get extra privileges?" Jed jeered.

"You want to check my driver's licence?" Ben calmly returned.

Amy quickly hid a smile at the disgruntled look on Jed's face. Driver's licences were still a thing of the past.

She glanced at Ben. There was an odd expression on his face. She could almost swear he looked concerned to see her here.

"How is your ankle?" he asked.

Now he even sounded concerned.

"It's … fine. I'll live."

He gave a brief smile. "Glad to hear it."

Much to her chagrin Jed would choose this moment to put an arm around her and pull her close.

"You still wanting that bottle of bourbon, girl?"

Ben's eyes met with hers. She didn't miss the concern mingled with reproach in them.

She wanted to protest. It's not what you are thinking, only it was exactly what he was thinking.

And since when did his opinion of her matter?

She turned to Jed, and smiled. "Most certainly."

Amy expected Ben to stalk off, but much to her astonishment he spoke. "Amy, can I talk with you for a moment?"

He wanted to talk?! A sudden panic took hold.

"What about Mason? This is my girl here, what do you want with her? None of this concerns you," Jed said, his eyes darkening.

"Shut it, Jed. If he wants to talk to me it has nothing to do with you."

Grabbing her crutches, she followed him to the door. Ben turned to face her.

"I know none of this is my business," he began.

Damn right it wasn't, but there was something very compelling about him. Something that confused her. Oddly she found herself drawn to him. Now that his face was only inches from hers, and in the light of day, she could clearly see his features. He really was quite good looking in his own unique way, damn him. She'd never been one to fall for good looking guys.

So what was different about Ben Mason?

His concerned gaze searched hers. "It won't fix it."

His perception was uncanny. It was as if he totally understood everything she'd been through, was feeling. Frightened by this sudden closeness, she stepped back.

"Yes," she stammered. "It will."

Drawing in a deep breath, she tried to put on her haughty, tough façade.

Only, he already seemed to see straight through it. How was that? A slow realisation began to take hold. Her mother must have said something to him.

Not that it mattered.

So what if he knew she'd had a kid sister taken by the Skitters, practically everyone here had lost someone.

"It's your choice." He lowered his eyes from hers. "Be careful."

With that, he turned and walked away. Amy stood there, rooted to the spot. Her heart pounding in her chest.

"He has some nerve," Jed started. "He really is such a smug jerk. Thinks he's above us and how the hell do you know him?"

She glanced his way. "He was the one who ran into me the other night and sprained my ankle."

Jed got off the stool and sauntered her way. "So he's the one responsible for your injury. You want me to teach him a bit of a lesson?"

"What?" she scowled. "Of course not. It's nothing."

"Because me and a couple of mates, could bring him down a peg or two."

Amy inwardly shuddered at the thought. Ben Mason had been through enough without jerks like Jed messing with him.

"Nah, I think he had enough pay back when he had to piggy back me home. I gave him the worst time ever," she laughed. "He hates me."

Jed studied her closely. "He sure didn't look like he hated you a moment ago."

She shrugged indifferently. "He's a Mason. You know, they're all so 'holier than thou' and save the damsel in distress."

Please let it drop, she silently begged.

"You are right about that. So how about I get you a bottle and we meet out the back."

Amy wanted to say no, screw this. Ben was right, but that would only lead to Jed growing more suspicious.

"Sure."

She figured she'd drink about half the bottle with him and then find some excuse to leave. She had that little act down pact. It should be enough for Jed to forget all about Ben Mason.

* * *

Only it didn't go quite according to plan. It would seem Jed's patience had ran out. His kisses were insistent along with his groping. She felt repulsed. The alcohol barely numbing the unpleasantness of this experience.

He had her pressed up against the wall. Her crutches fell to the ground. She felt cornered and trapped.

It was time to get out of there.

She pushed him back with her hands. "I said no!"

A flicker of anger crossed his face. "You're nothing but a fucking tease!"

Amy reached down for her crutches. The sooner she was away from here the better.

"So, I'm suddenly not good enough for you now you've become buddy buddy with the Mason freak Kid?!"

"I don't even know him," she yelled back. "And I don't care to either."

"Really," Jed drawled, a predatory look in his eyes. "That's not how it looked to me."

Amy shuddered. Jed rested a hand against the wall, on either side of her, trapping her. His gaze bored into hers.

"I think you're sweet on him."

She swallowed hard. "I'm not."

Lowering his face to hers, he pressed his lips savagely against hers. She bit down on his lip. He pulled back, outraged.

"You bitch!" he howled.

Before she had a chance to even realise what was happening, his fist connected with her cheek. She went falling to the ground, stars dancing before her eyes.

Next thing she knew, he had her pinned down to the ground.

"You'll pay for that," he threatened. "When I done with you. You won't be fit for the likes of Ben Mason."

A sudden dread filled her. There was no way she could fight him off, and Jed was beyond reasoning with. She was about to scream when Jed was suddenly flung off her as if he were no more than a rag doll.

Her father stood there, fire blazing in his eyes.

"Stay the hell away from my daughter!" he growled.

When her father was mad, you just didn't mess with him.

"Alright old man, keep ya shirt on, ain't nothing she didn't want."

Her father clenched his hands into fists. Jed rapidly backed up, before hastily turning away and running into the dark shadows of the night.

Reaching out a hand, her father helped her to her feet. She could see the disappointment in his eyes, mingled with sadness. Ever since Lucy was taken, his eyes were always filled with sadness. "We've been looking for you."

"H-How did you find me?"

But it was beginning to dawn on her that Ben must have contacted her parents. Who else could it have been and damn him. If she'd come to that conclusion then it was only a matter of time before Jed did as well. Ben Mason was already too much on his radar.

All her hard work and putting up with Jed's sleazy passes had been in vain. She could almost laugh at the absurdity of this whole situation. One day she hated Ben, and now she was damn well trying to protect him. But instead a sob escaped her throat. What the hell was she doing? She should never had gotten involved with the likes of Jed to begin with.

"I'm … sorry," she stammered. "I'm so sorry."

She found herself drawn into her father's arms. "Come home, Amy."

.

.

* * *

.

.

 **A/N:** I've only written the first 3 chapters so far on this story, so updates will slow down. I've got about 2 weeks of holidays left, so I'm hoping to get as much writing as possible done.

I'd love some reviews to find out if people are into this story and if they like where I'm taking it?

Let me know if you are enjoying it?!


	4. Chapter 4

_**.**_

* * *

 _ **CHAPTER FOUR.**_

* * *

.

Amy searched for her mother's foundation in the bathroom cabinet. She attempted to cover the bruise as much as possible, but the foundation on its own wasn't enough. How the hell did she face Ben Mason? And face Ben mason she had to do. She needed to tell him to mind his own damn business. She needed to let him know that she was none of his concern, that there were sob stories worse than hers out there. Him being one of them! He'd been through the harness process, lived to tell the tale, fought skitters, which she still couldn't imagine.

He'd probably lost someone close to him as well. She wouldn't know. She didn't know him. She didn't want to get to know him.

Peering at her reflection in the mirror, she frowned.

The foundation wasn't really working. Pulling her hair out of its customary ponytail, she pulled strands down and around her face. It obscured the worst of the bruising.

She glared at her reflection. Hating the sight of herself. _You don't deserve to live. It should have been you the Skitters took, not Lucy and Seth._

 _You coward. Too scared to save your sister, hiding in the closest. Now they are dead because of you._

Amy screwed her eyes shut. Clenched her hands into fists. _Stop_ , she inwardly screamed, _this had to stop._

"Amy," her mom called from the kitchen. "It's nearly time to go."

Her eyes sprung open. She abruptly turned away from the mirror, pulling her erratic thoughts and emotions into line.

Her parents hadn't said much to her last night. But this morning, her mom had had plenty to say.

" _I think you should lay charges," she had spoken from the bench._

 _Amy sipped her coffee. "No."_

 _Her mom sighed in exasperation, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear as she continued to beat the eggs._

" _By the sounds of it, he tried to rape you. And I don't know if you've looked at your reflection yet, but the bruise on your cheek is nothing short of physical assault."_

" _I asked for it," Amy muttered_

 _Her mom looked at her, gobsmacked. "How exactly?"_

" _I've been using him."_

The shame still burned like battery acid in the pit of her stomach.

" _I was … stupid."_

She'd learned her lesson. Besides she didn't want to risk inciting Jed. Just in case Jed decided to get some sort of payback. And even if she did lay charges, would he even go to jail?

The judiciary system was still in a process of trial and error. Rules and regulations were slowly being put back into place, but people were battered and damaged from the war. It was going to take a long time before order was fully restored.

Then there were the half Skitter, half human kids. Most were still living in orphanages. People were afraid. Some were even outright hostel, wanting the kids to be locked up in some sort of prison camp.

Walking with Sarah to school everyday, Amy had gotten used to the stares. As if Sarah was suddenly going to turn into a feral animal and attack them. Amy almost wished she would, it would be kind of amusing to watch. But then she'd be locked up. A lot of them still were. The ones that were probably too far gone, but not too far to incinerate.

 _What to do with them?_ Was the never ending question. 18 months after the war had ended, and people were still debating this pretty big issue that wasn't going to go away anytime soon.

" _They should be put down,"_ was one popular theory.

She had agreed with it. What sort of life could they ever have? If it was her, she wouldn't want to live anymore

Could they ever be rehabilitated?

No doubt, Ben Mason thought so. Her curiosity was aroused when it came to him. He was an oddity, existing on the outer periphery and through his own choice it would seem.

She recalled his words from a couple of nights ago. _It's not because I think I'm better. I just don't fit in. That's all it is._

Had he ever tried to? Maybe he had once before? Whenever she saw him around town, he was either with his nearly totally looking Skitter girl, who she heard lived with him and his family, or he was with those other Alien's. The Volm, he called them. He was more chummy with them than the humans.

People were wary of them as well. Did we want to share our planet with an Alien race? That was the double loaded question.

Ben Mason was just … different. It made him interesting, though she didn't want to be interested him. It was just because he'd been harnessed, and she knew that her sister and Seth would have been. In a weird way it made her want to feel connected with him.

Which was kind of crazy.

At first, she had found the skitter kids repulsive. She'd been outraged when her parents wanted to adopt Sarah. How could they?! What were they thinking? It was just sick and distorted.

No way was she ever going to accept Sarah into their lives. She had claws for hands, half her face had scales, as did a good 70% of her body.

It was disgusting.

But with time, she'd somehow gotten used to the changes. Sarah was just like any other girl. She still hadn't accepted her as her sister, but the girl had grown on her. There was a fondness there, a fondness that Amy had tried so hard not to feel.

* * *

Arriving at the school, Amy and Sarah placed their bicycles in the bike rack. She wasn't nervous, Amy told herself. She didn't care what Ben Mason had to say, or what he thought of her.

However, she took a deep breath as she pulled the door to the classroom open. Ben was sitting at the front desk. He appeared to be marking. She still had no idea how old he was, but he must be near her in age. There was no way he could be older than 21. He still had such a young complexion. There was an openness, an honesty reflected on his face. Cute. And no … she wasn't going there. Right now she was more intent of grilling him out for dobbing her into her parents. She was pissed, really pissed with him. _'You sure about that?'_ Amy ignored the traitorous words. Damn it, but she didn't want to feel anything for him. She couldn't even begin to fathom why?

"Hi Sarah," Gracie called out from the play room. "I'm baking cookies you want to help me?"

Ben looked up from his desk. His gaze rested on her. At first he didn't appear to recognise her. Amy pulled her hair around her face. She marched over to him, slamming both hands on his desk.

She eyeballed him. "You told my parents where I was!"

He blinked startled for a moment, before realisation took hold. "Amy, should have known. Good morning to you too."

"What were you thinking? What I do is none of your concern."

Sighing, Ben stood to his feet. Placing both hands on the desk, he leaned in towards her.

His even gaze met hers.

"As usual you have your facts all wrong. I was walking home when your father approached me, asking if I had seen you.. I could hardly lie."

Being this close to him was unnerving. She could smell his skin. Warm and salty with just a hint of soap to it.

"And you know I wouldn't. Because that guy …" he continued.

Amy fought to hold onto any slim semblance of anger.

"His name is Jed…" she began.

"He's bad news," Ben finished for her.

Tell me something I don't know, not that she was about to say that. She was still kicking herself for her total stupidity last night. She had hoped bike riding Sarah to school may have helped eased her tension. But it didn't.

"I had it under control."

He assessed her for a long minute. She wished he could see his eyes without the glasses. It was hard to read him, what he was thinking.

"How did you get the bruise?" he asked. His voice soft and enquiring, concerned.

Swallowing, she moved back, folding her arms, needing to put some distance between them.

She had gone home with her dad. Despite not even drinking half a bottle, she'd puked in the toilet. Drinking on an empty stomach was a bad idea or maybe it was from Jed's sexual harassment. Either way she had felt so sick.

She was as mess.

Sleeping it off was one way to cope. The alcohol helped her fall asleep, but she'd woken up early. It had been four in the morning. Her mind kept playing the events from the previous night over and over. Jed's angry face. His horrible words. The fool that she had been, mixed in with Ben. His concerned expression, the fact that he bothered to help her, despite her being so horrible to him.

"Amy?" he spoke, his voice sounding distant. "Are you okay?"

She rubbed her arms, fighting to keep emotion in check. It was impossible to be angry with him, though she wanted to be, because in truth … she forced her eyes to meet his.

"I owe you one."

His expression softened.

"I didn't have it under control, and if my dad hadn't turned up when he did …" her voice broke off there. "I-It would have been a lot worse."

She slowly drew in a deep breath. How he must think the worst of her.

"Thank god you're okay," he murmured.

He sounded so genuine. Tentatively, her gaze met his. She didn't' see hate in his eyes or even reproach, though she deserved it. There wasn't pity either.

Strangely enough, it was as if he understood.

Students, jostling and chatting happily, began to file into the classroom, breaking the silent shared empathy between them.

Ben's attention drifted to the students.

"Guess I should get back to work."

Yes, she needed to get far from him and this affect he seemed to have over her. Only, she had to warn him first.

"You're on Jed's radar."

Ben just shrugged. "So what if I am. I can take care of myself."

"Really," she drawled, "Maybe one on one, but Jed never operates alone, he has his henchmen."

A slight smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He raised an eyebrow. "Henchmen."

She fought back the returning smile.

"You're no longer super human, you know."

His shoulders stiffened, a frown dented his forehead. "I can still fight."

She rolled her eyes. "Naturally, and how human of you to still have that typical male ego. I thought you were above such things."

He scowled. So now she had hit a nerve. Hiding a smile, she shook her head.

"I've got to go. I'll see you later."

Amy headed for the door, she could feel him watching her.

"You said you owe me one," he called after her.

Stopping, she slowly turned around. That was quick.

"You want a job?" he continued.

She blinked, surprised.

"I could do with a teacher assistant."

"I've not finished high school."

He smiled. "Neither have I."

"I've not been in school since I was 12."

"I was 14, and I don't think it matters anymore."

Oh, so that would make him 20, she mused. He was much too likeable, damn it. If she were to see him day in and day out, she risked getting too close to him. But on the other hand, she could keep an eye on him in case Jed did decide to do anything to him.

"Okay," she nodded. "Don't know how much help I'll be. I don't have a lot of patience. I swear a lot."

"Really, I hadn't noticed," he quipped. "You might need to tone that down."

A slow smile crossed her face in response to his.

"When do you want me to start?"

"Like now, though maybe you should wait till your ankle is better."

Stuff that, she was bored out of her brain.

"I'm good. I can start now."

His smiled widened. "Great."

* * *

Ben hadn't expected her to say yes so quickly. He wasn't even sure why he'd asked her to be his assistant. Not that he didn't need one, because he did. They were woefully understaffed.

But why her?

Somewhere along the way, he'd figured she was all talk with the tough girl act. There was probably a likeable, warm girl deep down inside of her. He'd seen the odd glimpse. And what better way to help her than by giving her a job.

Maybe her mom was right. Maybe he could help Amy?

The day had ambled along smoothly enough. Amy had been up to whatever task he'd given her, which wasn't a lot. She was still limping on her injured ankle. He gave tasks that she could do sitting down.

There was a wiry edge to her. Maybe it was to do with her being too thin. Did she not eat?

She looked different with her hair down, not as young. It fell down around her shoulders in brown waves.

Smiles were rare from her. He could tell the students really didn't know what to make of her. And whilst she wasn't at all horrible to them, neither was she overly friendly.

Ben just hoped he'd done the right thing. Time would tell, he guessed.

At the end of the day, he approached her. She was sitting on the chair at his desk. Twirling a pen, she glanced up at him. "I think I suck at it."

"No … you did all right for your first day."

"But."

He shook his head.

"I can hear a 'but' there," she snorted.

"Okay, you could be a bit friendlier to the kids, but I'm sure that'll come with time."

God, he hoped so.

"I'm not used to being around so many, I guess."

The pen she held dropped to his desk as she stood up.

"I'm hopeless at maths. In fact I'm bad at anything academic, that was my sist …" her voice broke off there.

Straightening up, her gaze darted away from his, but not before he saw the bleak shadows in her eyes. Ben was beginning to come to the conclusion that beneath her tough façade, Amy was an emotional train wreck waiting to happen. She had already held on to her anger for far too long.

One day she was going to crack.

He should know. All those years ago, weeping on Captain Weaver's shoulder as the enormity of Jimmy's death hit him.

His eyes rested on her pale drawn face.

"You'll get better with time," he encouraged. "I can tutor you."

Annoyance flickered in her eyes.

He ran a hand up the back of his neck. "And maybe not."

Her shoulders slumped. "Sorry, just a sore point with me."

She seemed to have a lot of those. His eyes drifted down to her ankle.

"How's your ankle?"

"It's okay."

"If you're up to it, I'll give you the grand tour."

He saw her relax a little.

"Sure, why not."

* * *

Ben led her to the South Yard. Sarah and Gracie following. Once outside the two girls scampered down the path.

He showed Amy the green house.

"We grow our own fruit and vegetables to save costs."

"You have a cow too?" she quipped.

"Unfortunately no, but that would be handy given how milk is in such short supply."

He could feel the warmth of the sun beating down on his neck as they walked.

"We cleared up the lawns, made an oval," he continued, pointing out the different areas. "We rigged up a playground with a swing, and slide. The old mail truck was still perfectly intact so we put it in the playground."

Sarah and Gracie appeared to be having a lot of fun playing in it. Amy was surprised by how fast Gracie could move.

"She can jump," she murmured. "Is that …"

"Gracie is stronger and faster than the average girl her age," Ben finished for her. "It's to do with the changes to her DNA."

Amy glanced sideways at him. "But you don't have that strength anymore?"

"Not like I did, I'm still strong enough, but I have to work at it now. It's to do with how much the DNA was changed. In my case it's minimal. Funny, but I do have really good stamina now, which is something I didn't have before."

She processed this information, finding herself suddenly very curious.

"So, it's only your back that has changed?"

He nodded.

She wanted to know more, but then she remembered how touchy he'd been about it that night when he'd piggy backed her home. It was best to let it drop.

They continued to walk on. The oval was on her right, the playground on the left, along with wooden huts.

"Then there is the training and exercise yard for the horses," Ben continued, breaking the brief silence.

Amy stopped mid stride and grabbed his arm, gobsmacked. "You have horses?!"

A smile crossed his all too handsome face. "Yes."

For a moment Amy was speechless. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen or even patted a horse.

"I take it you like horses?"

"Are you kidding, I love them!"

His smile widened. "Great. I'll take you to them."

* * *

Hal exited the stables as they approached.

"Hey, Ben," he waved. "Had some free time and thought maybe we could go for a ride, but I see you have company."

Hal's eyes rested on Amy. Ben didn't miss the amazement on his face. He gritted his teeth. He was never going to hear the end of this given the sudden smirk Hal shot his way.

"Hal, this is Amy. Amy, Hal," he introduced.

Hal held out a hand to Amy. Much to his surprise, Amy shook his hand.

"I didn't know my brother had a friend who was a girl," he mused.

"We aren't friends," Amy returned.

Ben hid a smile at the sudden startled look on Hal's face. That was Amy, he mused.

"She's my new teacher assistant," he added. "I was showing her around."

Hal's face was alight with curiosity. "Okay, well I'll leave you to it." His hand came to rest on his shoulder. "You want go for a ride tomorrow?"

If Hal wanted to go riding with him, it meant something was on his mind and he wanted to talk. Ben hoped it wasn't about Maggie, because that always made him feel awkward. He also hoped it wouldn't be anything political. Hal's position in this new world was assistant city manager. He managed the reconstruction of buildings, dealt with urban problems that arose. He had some executive powers when it came to law enforcement and provision of services. He was part of an elected council, making the city ordinances, setting policies and supervising most of the departments. Having Hal in this role had been advantageous in the construction of this orphanage and school, but there were other policies that had been put into place that Ben didn't like. The segregation of the half skittered people from so called fully human people. Children under a certain age had to be supervised by an adult, hence Amy having to walk Sarah to and from school. Ben knew, in part, this was for their protection. He also knew a lot of it had to do with the fear and prejudices people held towards anyone who wasn't fully human.

As for the adults, like Jack, he was allowed to go out and mingle, but he had a curfew. He wasn't allowed out past nine at night. Ben had been furious. He remembered the big row he'd had with his father over that. _'You're a Senator, can't you do something about it?!'_

Much to his own chagrin the same applied to him, because when it came down to it, he wasn't fully human either.

' _It's for your own protection, Ben,' his dad had stated. 'There are people, messed up people that go around beating up anyone remotely Skitter.'_

Ben broke that law often. Hal would get stuck into him about it. _'You can't keep doing it, eventually I will have to act on it, and I don't want to be placed in that position.'_

' _So arrest me," he had retorted._

Sometimes Ben had no idea what his future would be. But a normal life was never going to be for him.

He gazed back at Hal. "Okay. Just don't make it too late, would hate to be out past my curfew." He couldn't help adding.

Hal raised an eyebrow. "Since when has that stopped you?"

The two brothers stared each other down, before Ben realised Amy was watching all of this taking place.

Hal squeezed his shoulder. "No politics, Ben. Just want to spend some time with my brother."

Ben nodded. "Meet here at four then?"

"Sounds good," Hal agreed, removing his hand from his shoulder.

He turned to Amy. "It's nice to meet you."

Hal departed with a wave. Ben watched him walk down the same path that he and Amy had just walked along. Mixed feelings coursed through him. Sometimes he wished his family was far removed from the politics of this new society.

"So, you have an older brother?" Amy spoke alongside him, bringing the brief lapse of silence to an end.

He turned to look at her, nodding.

"He's cute," she continued.

What girl didn't find him so?

"And married. Just so you don't get a crush on him or something."

She frowned.

"Girls are always wanting Hal," he pointed out.

Raising an eyebrow, her gaze was assessing. "Jealous?" she quipped.

He blinked for a moment, before stammering. "No."

Only that Hal just happened to have the one girl he'd been in love with for years. But that aside, he wasn't jealous of Hal, just jealous in what he had; Maggie.

Amy shrugged. "He's not my type anyway. He comes across as a bit … direct."

"Yep, that's Hal, and you have a type?"

Okay, he hadn't really meant to say that. Her shoulders stiffened.

"For the record, Jed certainly isn't my type either," she muttered, shoving her hands in her pockets. "He was just a means for me to get what I wanted."

"Alcohol?"

She nodded, averting her gaze from his. "I don't need a lecture," she shot back.

"I wasn't going to give you one," he began. "I get it, you know."

Amy could feel herself relax. He looked so sincere. She believed him.

"You still want to see the horses?" he continued.

She nodded. He gestured towards the stables. "This way."

Amy followed him, her excitement building at the thought of seeing a real horse.

"I would have drank. Wanted to drink, but I couldn't. Not with the migraines. It wasn't worth it," he talked, giving her a sideways glance.

Her curiosity was piqued.

"You suffer migraines?"

"Not so much now. It's better. I can have a couple of drinks, but I can't have more than two or three."

"That sucks."

He grimaced. "Tell me about it."

The stable was warm, sunlight streamed through the cracks in the wooden panels. Her eyes landed on stalls. A spotted saddle horse took up residence in one of the stalls, the other stall contained her favourite horse breed.

"It's an American warmblood," she breathed, approaching the horse.

She held out a hand and let the horse sniff her fingers, before she tickled his muzzle, running a hand up the bridge of his nose.

Nothing had felt so amazing in a long while.

"You know your horses," Ben spoke, coming to stand alongside her.

Her fingers returned to the soft velvety muzzle.

"I had a horse like this once," she murmured, as the memories returned. "I was mad about them. I had posters of horses on my walls, horses on my bed cover."

Turning her head, she looked up at him. "What about you, what were you into before?"

"Books, especially Harry Potter."

She raised an eyebrow, bemused. "I watched the films."

"The books are better."

"I didn't really read a lot as a kid, I was the outdoors type."

"Give me a good book to doing anything physical summed me up as a kid," he began, a slow smile crossing his face. "I sucked at sports. At school, during PE, I was always the last kid picked."

They really couldn't have been anymore different, she mused. Though he obviously worked out now, given his physique. She had felt those well-defined muscles in his upper arms when he'd piggy backed her home.

"So going for nightly runs wasn't something you ever did before?" she lightly said, shooting a curious glance his way.

He shook his head, a slight bemused smile on his face. "Definitely not."

"You've changed."

He nodded. She observed the play of emotions on his face. What was going through his head? And why did she want to know?

His thoughtful gaze met hers. "Haven't we all."

How astute. Why did she always end up in these conversations with him? Biting down on her lip, she fought the urge to question him more. She found herself wanting to know everything about him. It was disconcerting. She hadn't been curious about anything or anyone in such a long time. Ever since she'd lost Lucy and Seth.

She swallowed, and quickly distracted herself with patting the horse. "What's his name?"

"Captain."

She smiled easily. "That's not a name."

Ben inclined his head slightly, a nostalgic look crossing his face.

"He belongs to Dan Weaver. He used to be our Captain, the Captain of the Second Mass during the war. Then after the war, Dan started calling the horse Captain and it just stuck."

"Is that when you learned to ride a horse?"

He nodded. "I learned a lot of things I never thought I would."

The Captain, deciding he wanted some attention, nudged Ben with his nose.

A warm, wide grin lit up Ben's face. Raising a hand, he patted the horse's neck.

"All right old boy."

The horse snorted.

"Tomorrow I'll take you for a ride."

Amy wanted to tear her gaze away from him as a longing, she didn't want to acknowledge, swept over her. It was as she feared. Ben Mason was slowly, but surely worming his way into her heart.

"Funny," she began, "How I loved the outdoors and was stuck in a bunker for years, and you hated the outdoors, but spent years roaming the country side, killing Skitters and playing solider boy."

"It wasn't much fun," he admitted.

"Better than being locked away." A bitter smile crossed her face. If only they had stayed put. "Just one moment of freedom ... came with a price."

Pain clawed away at her insides. Damn Ben Mason and his kind, understanding eyes.

She bit down on her lip. "I've … gotta go home."

* * *

Ben watched her rush out of the stable. He stood, rooted to the spot, clenching and unclenching his hands.

Her face, dark and hurting, contorted in distress, haunted him. He didn't know why? He felt a strange connection with her, feeling compelled to want to comfort her.

Shaking his head to clear it, Ben left the stable and went in search of Gracie. He found himself longing for the confines of his room, getting lost in a really good novel.

Gracie was in the playground where he had last seen her.

"Ben," she called out excitedly when she spied him. "Watch me."

She climbed to the top of the old mail truck. Standing on the roof, she leapt off, doing a somersault in mid-air and landing perfectly on her clawed feet. A big happy smile lit up her face.

He clapped. "Well done."

She scampered over to him. He took her hand in his. "Time to head home."

"Can we please stop at the markets and buy some lollies?" she begged.

"You know it's bad for your teeth?"

"I know," she sighed. "But I'll brush them soon as I get home." She gaze up at him with those pleading eyes. "I promise."

He should say no, break this bad habit of buying her a lollipop on the way home, but he found it impossible to say no.

"Okay."

* * *

Ben strolled down Louisiana Ave, Gracie following happily, talking nonstop. She was a chatterbox, he mused. The markets were set up along Madison Drive. Norway maples lined the street. Ben stopped by Rob's stall, mostly because he was kind to Gracie. He'd learned over the last year what places to avoid, what were Skitter kid friendly.

He had a brief chat with Rob. Handed Gracie a bag of lollies.

Ben was eager to get home. He could feel a headache hovering vaguely at the base of his skull. He wanted to take something before it became a full blown headache, hopefully not a migraine. He hadn't had one of those for about four months.

"You need to lock the little monster up," came a jeering voice.

Ben froze. Turning slowly around, his eyes rested on Jed. He recognized him from last night.

Jed was leaning against a tree, a cigarette dangling from his thumb and forefinger.

On instinct, Ben gently pushed Gracie behind him. She didn't need to hear Jed's words. Ben could feel his anger boiling away beneath the surface. He suppressed it. Jed wasn't worth the effort.

Putting a protective arm across Gracie's shoulders, he whispered in her ear. "Just keep walking."

They had only taken a few steps when Jed moved from the tree, blocking their path.

Ben glowered at him. "Don't," he warned. "She's just a girl."

"A girl," Jed laughed. "Open your eyes Mason, she's not even human."

Sudden, red hot rage drifted around the edges of his thoughts, hovering like a fog that could descend at any moment and consume him like fire. It wouldn't be the first time.

"She's hideous," Jed continued, his face twisted in a mocking sneer.

"You're the hideous one," he shot back.

Ignoring him, Jed bent down so he was eye level with Gracie.

"What does it feel like to be a freak?"

Gracie held her head high. "I can do a somersault in mid-air, can you?"

Jed sneered. "I bet that's not all you can do."

Ben clenched his teeth together so hard that his jaw hurt.

"You have claws. I bet you could easily rip another kid apart with them …"

"You bastard!" he roared, lunging himself at Jed.

Jed fell to the ground. Before he had a chance to get up, Ben was on him. Using all of his strength, he held him down.

He wanted to kill him. He had never hated anyone more in his entire life.

Jed started laughing in a maniacal sort of way. "She's a mutant, Mason. The only place she belongs is in a circus, in freak alley! She's an aberration, grotesque ..."

Ben's fist connected with his face, once, twice and again and again as all of his pent up rage poured out of him. It wasn't enough. It would never be enough!

He felt someone grab him from behind, pulling him off Jed.

Breathing hard, Ben glowered at Jed, the rage still rolling of him in waves.

"Ben," he heard Gracie whimper, and as swiftly as the rage had hit him, it also now left.

The sight of her traumatised face brought him back down to earth with a jolt. A wave of sickness washed over him. Tears sprung to his eyes. Would it ever stop? Would she ever be treated as a normal girl, as she deserved to be treated?

"Let it go, Ben. He's not worth it," Rob murmured in his ear.

Shame hit him. He should have known better. He should have his anger under control by now.

"I know …" he stammered.

Regaining his composure, he took a deep breath. "I'm okay."

Jed was slowly sitting up, his face a bloody mess, but he managed a leer. "You'll keep, Mason."

"Get out of here!" Rob snapped angrily at him. "You've caused enough trouble."

Staggering to his feet, Jed stumbled away.

Rob let go of him. Once free, Ben pulled Gracie into his arms.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I got angry. Don't listen to what he says."

"I don't want you to fight," she sobbed, clinging to him. "What if you get hurt? I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you."

Ben felt worse than ever. It was one thing, Jed mouthing off, but the thought of himself hurting this girl, who he'd promised to protect, ate away at him.

"I promise, I will try to keep my anger in check next time."

He brushed the tears that trickled down her cheeks with his thumb.

"Why does he hate me?" Her voice wavered. "Why are people scared of me?"

Ben swallowed the lump in his throat.

"They don't mean too. They just don't understand. It'll get better one day."

She nodded. "I hope so. I don't want people to be afraid of me. I don't understand it."

A black hole opened up in his gut.

What did he say? Words were meaningless when the actions of misguided people spoke so much louder.

"Neither do I, but it will change."

Only Ben didn't believe it would. This so called new world, wasn't much different to the last one. Peering into Gracie's frightened face, he wanted to reassure her that there would be a perfect world, a world where everyone was accepted at equals. A world that wouldn't fear her. Taunt her. Shun her.

As he aged the more jaded he became. He might only be 20, but he'd lived long enough to know, very little really changed despite time passing, despite the many wars.

He glanced back at Rob. "Thank you."

Rob nodded. "I'm sorry this has happened. Not all of us fear."

Ben didn't know what to say. No, maybe not all, but Rob and his kind were few in number.

"You're a good man."

"No, you are Ben Mason. You and your father. Without your father being Senator this new world would be more wrong than it already is."

Rob was probably right about that. He didn't always agree with his dad on everything, but he was his father's son. Feeling rage when his family came under threat, wanting to put right the wrongs, wanting to make everything right to the best of his ability.

If he'd been totally and supposedly human, he'd probably support this new world, but he wasn't. He never would be. His place was with the Skitter kids. He was one of them. And they were not part of, or welcomed into this society.

Taking Gracie's hand in his, he squeezed what once were her fingers.

"Let's go home."

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* * *

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 **A/N: I hope people are enjoying this? I would absolutely LOVE some feedback. Please review, even if it's just a few words. Or you can tell me what you liked the most about this chapter and/or what you would like to see happen.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

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	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N:** _ I always had an issue with the inconsistencies to do with Ben's spikes. In season 2, when he reveals his back to his dad, it appears that his back has began to take on a scaled reptilian look, just three months after having the harnessed removed. It's implied that the spikes were changing him, and this terrified Ben. However, this isn't really further explored much. His back appears different so many times throughout season 3 to 5, but it certainly hadn't gotten any worse, so why did it just suddenly stop? Darn plot holes! So the way I envision it, is that Ben's back is like it was in Season 2, maybe it had even spread a bit more since then.

Just wanted to clear that up :)

Thanks for the loyal support of my two regular reviewers Rose and Guest. Just knowing that a least two people are loving this story does keep me writing!

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* * *

 _ **Chapter Five.**_

* * *

 _ **.**_

Ben was still furious with himself by the time he and Gracie reached home. His internally directed anger could only be dealt with in one way – running. Going straight to his room, he changed into a pair of shorts and t-shirt. He didn't even instruct Gracie to do her homework, letting her go play with Lily.

"Can you stay back till Anne gets home?" he asked the babysitter.

Jane nodded. He muttered a thanks and headed out the door. A twinge of pain radiated through his knuckles. They were red and swollen. Grimacing, Ben swore under his breath. He should put an icepack on them, but right now he needed to get out of town, whilst it was still light. He needed peace and quiet. He needed to get his emotions back under control.

Ben continued to berate himself as he ran down Constitution Ave, past the Lincoln Memorial and towards the river. The warmth of the day was beginning to abate. He enjoyed the cool breeze on his face, the sound of his beating heart.

Red Eye had taught him how to control and direct his anger. His rage had been a palpable thing then. It consumed him all of the time. No one could help. No one human that was, because the only other being that understood the harness process was someone who had been through it. Someone who had had their identity stolen, their minds controlled, turned into a killing machine for the purpose of the Espheni. They were nothing more than slaves.

Red Eye shared all of his pain and thoughts. Ben had felt his hundred year existence of such heart wrenching agony. It was incomprehensible. It wasn't something a human could ever grasp, except for the Skitter people, once human's, still were inside. Even if no one could see it.

They had sat for hours, sharing everything. Red Eye had shown him what memories he had left of his home planet, what his people had been before. How they had been wiped out of existence.

 _You will lose everything that ever mattered to you, if you don't fight back._

 _How? How did he do that? How could anyone ever trust someone like him?_

Red Eye had given his life to save his. _This brings me happiness._ Were his last thoughts, as Ben reassured and held him. _You are strong. I am proud of you, Ben Mason. Don't grieve. I'm free at last. Now it's up to you to save your species._

Memories of Red Eye had a way of soothing him. It seemed to put everything back into perspective.

As he continued to run, Ben came to the realisation that he'd played into Jed's hands. Jed had purposely goaded him because he wanted him to retaliate.

He recalled the smug look on Jed's face before he stumbled away. How could he have been so stupid?!

There would be ramifications. It was only a matter of time.

Ben was right. When he walked up the front path to his house, he saw the police car in the driveway.

Dread filled him. Shit. Shit. Shit.

He hadn't expected it to be this soon!

With much apprehension, he opened the front door. His eyes swept over the two uniformed officers sitting down on the sofa, and Anne, looking worried as all hell.

"Please tell me this isn't true, Ben?" she gasped, approaching him. "Did you physically assault someone on the way home from school today?"

Swallowing hard, he nodded.

"Why?" she exclaimed. "Is this to do with Gracie again?"

"Yes."

"Ben, you can't go around beating up people when they say something bad to her!"

He didn't think it possible to feel any worse than he already did, but seeing the disappointment on Anne's face hurt.

"I know, I know," he muttered, raking a hand through his sweat drenched hair. "I knew afterwards … and … it was too late then."

His hands dropped to his sides. What did he do? Because this … his dad was going to kill him.

The two police officers had stood from the sofa and were now addressing him.

"Are you Benjamin Mason?" one of them asked.

He nodded with resignation. "Yes."

"You are arrested for physically assaulting Jed Larson at 4.10pm."

The other officer pulled out a pair of handcuffs. "Standard procedure. You need to come down to the station."

Anne face paled as the officer placed the handcuffs around his wrists. Ben hadn't felt this humiliated in a long while.

"Where is Gracie?" he asked.

"She is next door with Lily."

Good, because he didn't want her to see this. He chanced a glance at Anne. She looked so distressed, and he had caused it.

He sighed heavily. "I'm an idiot."

Her face softened. "I will contact your dad."

He felt like saying no. His dad; he couldn't handle seeing his face and the disappointment that would be there once he'd found out what he had done.

"You need to come with us," one of the officer's instructed.

Ben tore his gaze away from Anne as they led him to the front door.

Matt would happen to came bursting inside.

"There's a police …" his voice broke off there. His eyes widened.

Ben shook his head as more shame washed over him.

"Ben?" Matt began, eyes questioning, scared.

"It's okay, look after Gracie for me till I get out."

The police were pulling him through the front door, Matt stepped back.

"Please, Matt?" he called over his shoulder.

"I will. You know I will."

* * *

Ben remained silent on the five minute drive to the police station. What was there left to say? He'd screwed up. It was official.

Once at the police station, he was interviewed for the basic information of his full name, date of birth and address. He was finger printed, then photographed.

"Can you remove your glasses?" A police officer instructed.

Ben glanced at his name badge. It read Watson.

Removing his glasses, he handed them to the officer. His outer periphery blurring into unrecognisable shapes.

He felt numb throughout this whole process. He could switch off when it best suited him to do so. As if the events happening around him, were not … really happening.

"Okay, we're done here."

Ben stumbled towards the door, frowning with annoyance.

"Can I have my glasses back?"

Should he have to ask for that? It was humiliating enough as it were.

Officer Watson shoved the glasses in his hands. Ben put them on. He glanced at the officer. Straight away he could tell he was a skitter hater. Probably lost a wife, son or daughter, as most people had during the war. No wonder there was so much hate, how did any of them move past it? And would they?

"Follow me," Watson muttered gruffly.

Ben fell in line, gritting his teeth.

"What next?" he asked. "When do I get to make a phone call?"

"First you have to see an EMS paramedic and have a health assessment."

That stopped him in his tracks – a health assessment! He didn't like doctors. Would only let Anne treat him if he fell sick.

"Why?"

The officer didn't appear to be happy with the question. "It's standard procedure."

Guess he had no choice then, but it left him feeling unsettled.

"Afraid of anyone seeing your alien parts?" the officer continued.

He shook his head, he wasn't biting to anyone's bait again. "No."

"You should be," he muttered. "I've seen enough of them. It ain't a pretty sight."

Ben bit down on the inside of his cheek. He said nothing.

* * *

Once in the examination room, Ben was asked a series of routine questions in regards to his health.

The paramedic examined his ears and throat.

"Can you take your shirt off," he instructed, removing the stethoscope from around his neck. "I need to listen to your chest."

Ben wanted to protest. He still had that right at least, but seeing the smug look on Officer Watson's face as he stood by the door, silenced him.

Fine then. Let them see his so called alien parts, he inwardly fumed. Lifting his shirt up, he pulled it over his head, flinging it on the back of a nearby chair.

The paramedic placed the stethoscope on his chest.

"Breath in. Breath out."

He tried to remain stoic, act as if he didn't care. His defiant gaze met with officer Watson's.

The paramedic made him turn around and proceeded to do the same on his back.

"Breath in. Breath out."

Ben felt him touch the outer edges of the scars, scales, and was there even a word for it? He guessed alien parts summed it up. The skin that had changed was numb, much like third degree burns. Ben knew this was because the process was incomplete from the removal of the harness. Gracie still has touch sensation.

"How old were you when you were harnessed?" the medic enquired.

He sounded pretty impartial, as if this was a daily routine for him.

Ben relaxed a fraction. "14."

"How long were you harnessed for?"

"Six months."

"You were one of the early ones then. It's lucky you didn't die when they removed the harness."

"A doctor had found a way to do it safely, I was one of the first to have it done."

"The spikes would have remained."

"Yes."

"Any kid de-harnessed after four months, we found the spikes remained along with special abilities. They were stronger, faster," the medic talked.

Ben nodded. He'd obviously had some experience.

"You still have any of those effects?"

"No."

Why was he asking that? Wasn't it obvious? "I no longer have the spikes," he said. "And as the process was incomplete, unlike the others I'm just like you when it comes to strength and speed."

The paramedic merely nodded and sat down at his desk.

"You can put your shirt back on."

Ben reached for it from the back of the chair that he'd draped it over.

"You appear in good health, chest is clear. No indication of TB," the paramedic spoke, scribbling down on what was now his prisoner file.

Ben was just glad that was over. He hated anyone touching his back, ever since being tortured at the military base two years ago.

The paramedic glanced across the room to Officer Watson. "You can take him to a holding cell."

* * *

Ben once more found himself following Officer Watson. His stomach grumbled. He hadn't eaten since lunch time. He hadn't drank any water either since his long run. His tongue felt like gritty sand paper. He smelled pretty bad.

"Can I have a shower?" he asked. "Please, I was running before I was arrested and I didn't get the chance to shower."

He didn't except Officer Watson to oblige, the man seriously disliked him, but much to his surprise he nodded.

"This way."

Ben soon found himself in the shower block. He gazed at the door less showers. So much for any privacy, he silently muttered.

Officer Watson handed him a towel, cake of soap along with a change of clothes.

"You have five minutes," he said gruffly.

"Thank you."

Without a word, Watson turned around and left the shower block.

At last, some privacy. Stripping himself of his clothes, Ben turned on the tap, eager to get under the running water. This humiliating process just brought back a whole lot of bad and painful memories. Images from his last time being held as a prisoner flashed through his mind. Being strapped down, powerless to stop the soldier pulling the spike out of his back. The excruciating pain and passing out as a result of it. How he could barely walk, let alone string out a complete sentence when they took him to his father.

Ben stood under the lukewarm flowing water. Hot tears burned at the back of his eyes. He fought them back. He'd suck it up, as he had then.

However, his hands shook as he attempted to button up the plain grey shirt after his shower. He really just wanted out of this place.

Officer Watson led him to a holding cell. He was given a plain sandwich, but at least it had peanut butter in it and a jug of water. He was glad to be alone in the cell. Though there was nothing to do but stare at the drab stone walls. At least he had Hal with him last time. In that moment, he missed his brother. He guessed horse riding with him tomorrow wouldn't be happening.

* * *

It was only a matter of time before his dad came to visit. Ben had been dreading the moment. As there was nothing else to do but think, he'd spent the last hour playing over and over in his head on what he was going to say to him.

What had been a dull ache in his head earlier today was now a throbbing headache. He rubbed at his temples with his fingers, screwing his eyes shut.

"You have a visitor," Officer Watson spoke.

Ben glanced up from where he sat, and into his dad's familiar face. The expression on his face was what he had expected; disappointment mingled with a sort of sadness.

His dad had spent the last six years defending him, helping him to adjust and trying to understand him. Ben knew his dad had tried to come to terms with the knowledge that the boy he'd once been was never going to return to him as maybe he'd hoped; whole, innocent – the same.

Slowly getting to his feet, Ben walked over to the bars. He gripped them tightly with his hands. He forced himself to meet his dad's stare.

"I'm sorry," he muttered in a tight, hoarse voice.

His dad nodded. "I know you are." He took a deep breath. "But it doesn't change what you've done, the position you have now placed yourself in. People are wary and fearful enough of the human turned Skitter people and your actions will only add to their distrust."

Ben felt a tightness in his stomach.

"I know your heart is in the right place, Ben. But you of all people need to think before you act. You have a responsibility now. As a representative for those children, who look up to you, you must be careful on what you say, how you act."

Ben sighed, it hurt his chest. His dad was totally right, even if he sounded every bit the politician.

"Can't change it now," he murmured feeling utterly wretched. "Wish I could."

He swallowed, fighting back tears. His dad raised a hand, placing it at the back of his neck before ruffling his hair. The gesture felt comforting, much like it had when he was younger.

"I don't think you have to worry about going to prison. Your record is clean whereas this Jed Larsen has a criminal record.

"For what?"

"Stealing, breaking and entering, drunken misconduct in a public place."

That was reassuring and why had Amy ever gone out with him? That's right, her need to forget with alcohol. Luckily she had come to her senses now.

"At the worst," he father continued, "You might have to do so many hours of community service or pay a fine. You will also have a criminal record now."

Terrific and just what he didn't need.

Ben's grip on the bars tightened. "I hate this place. It brings back memories. H-How long till I can get out of here?"

His dad shot him a sympathetic look.

"I can't do anything till the morning. Soon as I get a lawyer we will arrange a meeting, but that could take all of tomorrow. Hopefully I can get you out late in that day, but you might be in here for a couple of days."

Ben numbly nodded. His dad patted his shoulder.

"You're strong," he reassured him.

He wanted so badly to hug his dad, but the bars separating them didn't permit it.

"I brought you a book to read," his dad continued, passing the back through the bars into his hands.

Ben glanced down at the title, feeling a wry smile flicker briefly on his face.

"A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," he read.

He dad patted his back. "It's a sci-fi comedy, I read it when I was 14. It should at least make you smile when you read it."

* * *

When Amy arrived at the school the next morning, she was surprised to find just Gracie and no Ben. Which was odd, because Ben never left her side. There was a different boy with her. She hadn't seen him before, but he seemed to know Gracie really well.

As she walked towards them, she noticed there was something familiar about him. He reminded her of someone.

The boy glanced her way and waved. "Hi."

Her eyes rested on his face, frowning.

"I'm Matt," he continued.

Was that supposed to mean anything to her?

"Ben's younger brother if you're wondering."

How many brothers did Ben have?

"Are there anymore of you out there?" she quipped.

Matt smiled. "No, just me and Hal, but we have a younger sister, Lily."

Great, Ben was just part of one big happy family. Good for him. Lucky him.

"I'm Amy by the way."

"Oh, you're the girl Ben knocked over when he went running the other night."

"He told you about that."

Matt nodded, his smile widening. "Yeah, he wasn't happy about it."

"Hmm, neither was I."

The boy barely looked 14. Despite his curly hair, he looked a lot more like Ben than his other brother Hal did.

"Ben, never talks to girls," Matt spoke, a teasing glint in his eyes. "I'm not sure if he's even kissed one."

Little brother saying things older brother wouldn't like, she mused. Always in competition.

"You think he's gay," she couldn't help saying.

He promptly shut his mouth, eyes widening.

That shut him up, she mused.

"You know what I never kiss and tell. Ben's probably the same and where is he?"

Matt's face went very still, filling Amy with a certain foreboding.

"He … um, he was arrested last night."

She froze. He what? How and … "Why?"

"He got into a fight, punched some guy up pretty bad."

Her heart started to thud.

"Can't remember his name," Matt continued.

A cold chill crept through her.

"Was it Jed?"

"Yeah, that's it."

That bastard! No way was he going to get away with this. Not on her watch!

"I have to go, I'll see you in a little while."

Turning on her heel, she hurried to the door.

"Where are you going?" Matt called after her.

"Something I gotta do."

* * *

Amy went to the hospital first up. Jed had already been released late last night.

He can't be that seriously hurt then, she fumed as she made her way to his house.

She knocked for ages before someone answered.

It was Jed. His face was badly bruised and swollen and good. It was nothing that he didn't deserve.

"Amy," he drawled. "Came to see if I was okay?"

"Drop it," she returned, clenching her hands into fists.

He raised an eyebrow.

"Drop the charges," she continued.

"And why would I do that? I can't wait to see Mason's face in court. It'd be priceless. I doubt he'd go to prison, probably get community service maybe even probation, but it'd be worth it. Bring him down to earth, remind him that he's not above us."

"What's your problem with him?!" she snapped. "He's done nothing to you?"

"What are you blind?! See what he's done to my face. He broke my nose, along with a couple of my teeth."

"You deserve it."

Jed scowled at her.

"What did you say to him to make him angry enough to punch you?"

"It didn't take much. All I had to do was insult that Skitter kid. He's touchy as all hell when it comes to her."

Jed spat on the ground, his face darkening. "Skitter lover."

Amy resisted the urge to punch him herself.

His narrowed gaze met hers. "He's strong and he's fast, more so than the average person."

"He's not any stronger than the average male."

"You haven't been on the receiving end of his punches."

"You're full of shit."

Jed smiled a little, almost maliciously. "I bet the press will be all over this story. Nothing like a politician's son making the news, all the juicy gossip. People love it. Especially when said son has been through the harness process, part Skitter himself. Don't I have some stories to tell about your new boyfriend."

Amy clenched her jaw.

"So this is about me then?"

Jed's grin just widened in a mad sort of way. "I don't like being used and you used me, Amy."

He was crazy and dangerous. Every instinct in her body warned her to get far away from him. But she wasn't going anywhere yet. Not until she had cleared Ben's name.

"You will drop the charges."

He sighed, looking bored. "I thought we'd already been …"

"You will drop the charges or I'll go straight to the police about you. I've got evidence," she gestured to the bruise on her cheek. "You attempted to rape me after you hit me and my father is a witness. Not to mention that you supplied alcohol to an underage minor."

Her steely gaze bored into his. "Ben might not go to jail, but you will. You've already got a criminal record. I wonder how attempted sexual assault would look like added to your record."

His face hardened. Amy felt a sense of triumphant. _Take that you bastard._

"All right," he hissed. "You might have won this round, but it doesn't end here."

His hate filled eyes met hers.

"You're gonna wish you'd never intervened. I always get even," he threatened. "This isn't over."

Amy took an enormous breath as Jed trudged down the path towards the police station.

Her heart started to thud. She didn't doubt his threat for a moment. Jed was dangerous. Because of her dealings with him, she had now put Ben in his firing line as well.

What would Jed do to him next?

This was all her fault. She had to protect him. From now on she would not be leaving Ben Mason's side. She also needed to talk to his father ASAP, let him know what was happening.

* * *

Amy's first impressions of Tom Mason was that he was taller than Ben, and handsome for his age. He seemed to possess a quiet authority. There was a commanding presence about him, but it was of a gentle nature. She could tell he was intelligent with an enquiring mind, much like Ben.

Confusion and curiosity was reflected in his eyes as he studied her, probably wondering why she was here.

"Sorry to disturb you Mr Mason, but I need to talk to you about Ben."

Surprise lit up his face.

"You know Ben?"

"We met just recently." She took a deep breath. "It's because of me that Ben is now in this trouble."

Tom rubbed his forehead, perplexed. She saw the sudden concern in his eyes.

"We'll talk in my office."

Amy swallowed and hoped she was doing the right thing.

* * *

Ben lay on his cot, staring up at the ceiling. He'd never been so bored in his life. How much longer before the Lawyer got here? He glanced at the clock on the wall for the hundredth time. It wasn't even ten in the morning yet. The novel his dad had given him last night lay half open on a nearby chair. He hadn't been able to focus enough to read it.

Hearing the cell door slide open, Ben sat up.

Officer Peterson, who at least didn't hate him, stood there.

"You're free to go."

Ben blinked in disbelief. What?

"Charges were dropped, you're a free man, Ben Mason."

Was he hearing things?

"Unless you'd rather stay," the Officer quipped.

Getting to his feet, Ben grabbed the novel and left the cell, not looking back, just in case this wasn't really happening.

* * *

The smell of fresh air and the cool breeze that caressed his face felt soothing as Ben walked home. He gladly welcomed it, this sense of freedom.

Once home, Anne greeted him. A look of surprise crossed her face at the sight of him.

"The charges were dropped."

"What? Why? That's a good thing, right?" She frowned. "I wonder why the change of heart?"

Ben had been wondering the same thing. He couldn't see Jed being the forgiving type. Unless someone had intervened, had words with him, somehow managed to get Jed to change his mind, someone like …. Amy.

Of course, it had to be her. And how had she gotten Jed to change his mind?

He needed answers.

Not wasting any time, Ben had a quick shower and changed into clean clothes. A pair of jeans and button up blue shirt. Such was his sense of urgency that he got Anne to drive him to the school.

* * *

Ben was astonished to see Amy and Matt working comfortably together, when he entered the classroom. His students appeared happy and content. They liked Matt. It was always a treat for them when he visited the classroom.

Matt looked up. "Hey, Ben. You're here, what happened?"

He came running over to him. Ben glanced at Amy. She remained discreetly on the other side of the classroom.

"The charges were dropped. I'll explain later, but first I need to talk to Amy."

Matt nodded, a wide grin on his face. "Sure." He winked.

Ben scowled at him. "Not like that you idiot."

"So you say."

Choosing to ignore that last comment, Ben crossed the room to where Amy stood. Her hands were clasped together in front of her. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail.

A certain wariness flickered in her eyes.

"We need to talk."

"Okay."

He led her into the office, out of earshot of the children.

"You look like you haven't slept," she remarked, as he closed the door.

"I haven't"

It had been a horrible night. Running his hands through his hair, he tugged on the short blunt ends, trying to find the right words.

"It was stupid of me," he muttered. "I played right into Jed's hands."

"No need to be so hard on yourself. He deserved it."

She sounded as if she hated him as much as he did, which brought to light the question he wanted to ask.

"How did you get Jed to change his mind?"

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I know you must have spoken to him."

His eyes searched her pale face for any signs of it being so.

"Or, you mean to tell me that out of the goodness of his heart, Jed changed his mind?"

She sighed and shook her head.

"Okay, so I had a little chat with him. Told him a few home truths. Like if he didn't drop the charges I would go to the police about him assaulting me."

She never had told him how she exactly got the bruise. He'd assumed Jed had hit her, but the circumstances surrounding it, or as to why Jed did hit her were not clear.

Taking a deep breath, she continued. "Attempted sexual assault doesn't look good on one's record."

"He tried to rape you?!" he gasped, horrified.

Why had she done nothing about it?!

"It didn't get to that, luckily my dad came along in time to save the day."

Ben's jaw clenched. The thought didn't bear think of … "But if he hadn't … what if he hadn't? What if your dad hadn't asked if I'd seen you? What if I never told him?"

She averted her eyes, he noticed the shame there.

"But you did, Ben. Just let it drop … please. I don't want to talk about it.""

He shut his mouth.

They stood facing each other. An awkward silence followed.

There was a vulnerability in her expression that he could tell she was trying to mask. It would have taken a lot of courage for her to confront Jed after what he had done to her.

It was foolish, but also brave.

"Now, I owe you one," he murmured.

She managed a small, tight smile.

"I guess a bit of tutoring could be payment," she began. "I suck at … everything and I'm not going to be much of a help to you, probably more a hindrance so if the offer still stands then you can tutor me."

He blinked, surprised. A pleased smile crossing his face. He could tell it wasn't easy for her to trust, and she was trying with him. He felt momentarily touched.

"Okay. We can start today, after school."

"But you should rest."

"I'm fine," he dismissed with a wave of his hand. "Call by my house at around 5.00pm. Is that good for you?"

His house … okay … but people would be around.

"My dad doesn't get home to nearly seven most nights. You've already met Matt. Bring Sarah with you, Gracie will like that and Lily, well Lily is only one and she loves everybody."

How did he know what she was thinking? He had the uncanny knack of reading her thoughts.

"You don't mind baby slobber?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Matt told me you had a sister. Lucky you. It's rare for a family to come out of the war without losing someone."

The smile left his face, replaced by dark shadows in his eyes. What had she said wrong now?!

"Lily is my half-sister," he murmured slowly.

Amy didn't know what to say, her mouth went dry.

"My mom … she was killed by a Skitter just before I was taken and harnessed."

Of course. Everybody had lost someone they loved. Losing his mother would have been just as horrific as her losing her sister. She felt horrible. He already look traumatised enough by his short time in prison. Now she had gone and reminded him about his mom.

Great going Amy, she silently berated.

"I'm sorry."

He shook his head.

"No need. We all have our losses," he murmured. "Life doesn't seem as bright when they are no longer here."

Her throat constricted with repressed tears. How true.

"I really didn't have time to grieve her death before I was taken," he continued, his gaze shifted away from hers. "When I was harnessed I felt at peace. There was no more pain, no more suffering."

Amy went very still.

"But I wasn't me anymore either, like my memories had been buried so deep I couldn't access them."

She was transfixed by his words. She'd never known such honesty, painful as it was.

His gaze was open and vulnerable. A strange tenderness towards him swept over her.

"After I woke up from having the harnessed removed, everything was hazy … I tried to piece the memories together. When they returned so did all the attached emotions I hadn't felt in six months. If felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. And there was no one to share the pain with. I felt so alone. Stupid as it sounds I missed the mental connection I had with the other harnessed kids, and even the Skitter who controlled us. It was strangely comforting to share thoughts and not speak words."

Amy had a sudden urge to hold him. What if he rejected her? Instead she placed her hand on his arm.

He blinked, dazed, taking in his surroundings before his gaze met hers. His cheeks reddened slightly.

"I … I hadn't meant to say all of that."

"I glad you did," she replied honestly. "At least now I know that Lucy and Seth would have been at peace."

She was surprised by how easy it was to say their names around him. Normally there was so much pain there, always lapping beneath the surface, and there still was, just that now … she wasn't alone in her suffering anymore.

Much to her surprise, his hand touched hers. He gently squeezed her fingers.

"Thanks, Amy."

She was drowning in the warmth of his gaze.

Feet move. Now would be a good time.

She nodded. "Um, okay, you're welcome," she said a little too breathlessly.

Removing her hand from his, she shoved it in the back pocket of her jeans.

"I think you should go home and sleep. Matt and I can handle the students today. You look like death warmed up."

Still gorgeous though, her traitorous thoughts informed her.

He gave a wry, amused smiled.

She didn't know what to make of it. "What?"

"It's just you," he began. "I never would have guessed that underneath your prickly tough façade was a really cool girl."

Oh, a compliment. She licked her dry lips. She didn't know what to do.

"One I would like to get to know better," he continued.

Amy struggled to find her voice.

Holy crap, Ben Mason was so going to be her undoing.

"That's not a pick up line," he quickly added, a flash of colour in his cheeks.

"I didn't take it that way. After all everyone knows that you don't take any interest in human girls," she lightly teased. "In fact, according to your brother Matt, you've probably never even kissed one."

Ben scowled and shook his head. "I'm going to kill him when he gets home."

A smile crossed her face.

"Don't be too hard, he's a pretty good kid."

Like all of the Mason's it would appear. Amy bit down on her lip and debated whether or not to tell Ben that she had spoken to his father. Maybe that would be better left till later today, when she saw him at five, because he really did look half dead on his feet. There were dark rings under his eyes, along with a certain fragility. She couldn't pinpoint exactly what that was. His blondish hair looked dishevelled despite its shortness, as if he'd spent the night raking his hands through it.

Given the dark shadows in his eyes, the last six years had been tough for him. People like Jed didn't make it any easier. So much prejudice. It's not as if he had any say in what had happened to him, or any of the Skitter kids. Yet Ben continued to stand against it, fight for them.

It suddenly struck her just how incredibly special he was. Quite an ironic stroke of fate too that he had happened to run into her five nights ago. Ben Mason was surely moving one brick at a time from the wall surrounding her heart.

Somehow she had the feeling her life was going to change, and in a big way.

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* * *

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 **A/N:** Thanks for reading! Would love some reviews.

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